What If I Had Let You Go
by cutelilpuppieyez
Summary: Shuichi is given another chance to live after falling out a multistory building, but with a few conditions. Namely, no memory of his previous life, and...no Yuki! [sort of AU...COMPLETE] [epilogue added]
1. Default Chapter

If its sucks tell me! Or else I won't know and I'll think its good and I'll get ego-y (eyes tear up) please review!

Gravitation does not belong to me…lol duh and also this really reminds me of something else I've seen, maybe a movie? But I couldn't help myself I really wanted to write it ! if you can tell me which movie its like I'll post it up! Help me!

p.s sorry k-fans!

p.p.s title is improvised from a song by kate winslet called what if

Chapter One

"YUUUUUUUUKIIII! I'm home Yuki! YUKI? ….Yuki? Where are you Yuki! OMG YUKI ARE YOU OKAY!"

Yuki grimaced as Shu burst into the apartment with his usual insane whirlwind of emotions. Damn it, he had counted on having at least another hour to finish his novel before his biggest distraction came home. But an unwilling smile crept onto his face, calling him a hypocrite.

"I'm in the computer room Shu!" He yelled, chuckling softly. He listened happily to the sound of footsteps pounding across the hardwood floor and momentarily thought about how different he had been acting recently. Man he was so whipped.

A cheery face framed with cotton candy hair peeked in the doorway.

"Oh, hi Yuki! How was your day?" Shuichi tentatively stepped into the room, wary of the answer.

"Not quite so good brat. I didn't get any work on my book done and now that you're home…" But his smiling face gave him away.

Shu tiptoed closer and leaned over to Yuki's face. Whispering into his ear, "Do you need some cheering up Yuki?"

"You read my mind brat." Yuki reached over and pulled Shuichi down into his lap, playing with the buttons at the top of his shirt.

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_SLAM!_ The door to Yuki's apartment was thrown open by a tall blond man holding a magnum. His narrowed eyes glared left and right, searching out his mission target.

The first place that he checked was the kitchen. As he peered into the kitchen cabinets, a nagging thought in the back of his brain told him to reconsider what he was about to do. If it had been anyone but K, you might have said that it was his conscience. He shook his head. Even though many others had failed, his mission would be the one that succeeded, and everyone would be thankful. He turned to the living room to continue his search.

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Shuichi leaned his head against Yuki's chest, squirming to get comfortable. Yuki played with the hair on the top of his head gently.

"Hey, brat?"

"Yeah Yuki?"

"How about we go somewhere for supper tonight? Somewhere…nice."

"Like…like a date! Oh YUKI!" Shuichi looked up at him with shining cute puppy eyes, and hugged him tightly. Yuki didn't allow himself to smile until Shu snuggled his head back down into Yuki's chest, and couldn't see him. Shuichi sighed contently

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K rummaged through a large walk-in cupboard near the entertainment system in the living room. Who knew where those two carried out their dirty deeds. His face turned down in disgust. Throwing a pile of Nittle Grasper cds behind his shoulder, he continued to search through a pile of Nittle Grasper stuff. T-shirts, collectable watches, hats, everything. He even hesitantly picked up a pair of underwear with Ryuichi's face on it before realizing what it was. A soft thud was heard as it was thrown across the wall.

"Hm!" Shuichi's head shot up, "What was that Yuki?"

"Nothing, don't worry about it." Yuki insisted, not wanting to spoil the moment.

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K finally realized that if Yuki and Shuichi were in the closet, he would have found them by now. He briefly considered that his subconscious was trying to delay any confrontations, but shrugged it off as a lack of sleep. He decided to try the bedrooms.

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Hiro looked up from practising chords on his guitar when none other that Ryuichi rushed through his door and threw himself at Hiro. What the—

"Hiro Hiro Hiro omigod it's K!"

By the time that Hiro had calmed down Ryuichi and heard his story, he was really worried. He grabbed his leather jacket and the keys to his bike, throwing a spare helmet to Ryuichi. The door slammed behind him with finality.

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After approaching the bedrooms with great caution, not wanting to interrupt anything that would scar him for life, he put his ear to the door of Shuichi's bedroom and listened. Nothing. He quietly swung the door open, and peered in. Nobody. Sighing with relief, he quickly checked the bathroom, and went on to the next bedroom.

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Hiro speed through the busy streets, with grimacing as Ryuichi squeezed the air out of him from behind. The wind stung his face, as he had forgotten his helmet in his hurry to leave. A whimpering sound came from behind him as he stopped at an intersection. He turned back to see a very frazzled looking Ryu clinging to a very frazzled looking Kumagoro. A smile almost crossed his face before he remembered why they were speeding. He turned back around and revved up the engine before zooming off in the direction of Yuki's high rise apartment.

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K was just about to head down the hallway towards the main bathroom, when some noises from the computer room caught his attention. He moved in quietly to investigate. Two lowered voices inside confirmed his beliefs. He hesitated one more time, reminding himself that after he did this, he couldn't go back. K took one step away from the door, and then turned back and flew into the office.

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Hiro and Ryuichi came to a crazy stop outside of the apartment, and they jumped off quickly, leaving the bike to lie on the ground. Ryu got to the door first, and almost fell on his butt when the door didn't open. He jumped back up and started slamming the windows.

"Let us in! LET US IN ITS IMPORTANT! PLEASE SOMEONE LET US IN!"

Hiro yanked him back and pressed the buzzer to Yuki's apartment. There was no answer. He pressed it again, and again. Still no answer.

"SHIT!"

"Oh no Hiro! What are we gonna do!"

Hiro took a deep breath to slow his pounding heart, and help him think better. He leaned over and pressed a random button.

"He-Hello? Who is this?" A young female voice was broadcasted through the speaker. She sounded nervous, as she wasn't expecting any visitors.

"Hello Miss, my name is Hiro, and I really need to get to my friend's apartment, but he's not answering my call. Now, have you ever heard of Sakuma Ryuichi?"

"SAKUMA RYUICHI OMG OF COURSE I HAVE!"

"Well Miss, I have him here with me right now, and if you let me up, you can meet him."

Hiro directed Ryu to stand a little distance away from the building. True to his prediction, a cute blond head peered over the railing, her eyes widening as she saw Ryuichi.

"Omigod it IS Ryu! Ok I'll buzz you in!"

Hiro and Ryuichi rushed through the door and into the elevator.

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Shuichi jumped about twenty feet into the air (or would have if he hadn't hit the ceiling) he fell back to the floor sporting a large egg bump on the top of his head. Yuki charged up and pushed K against the wall.

"What the hell are you doing you bastard! Have you ever heard of knocking!"

K smirked at him calmly, ducked out from under his arm, and leaned against Yuki's desk. He levelled his magnum with Yuki's head.

"There's something that we need to discuss."

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Frantically pressing the button of Yuki's floor, Hiro and Ryuichi gasped breaths of air in the elevator. They stared at each other helplessly as the elevator sloooooowly shuddered into movement and started its long journey to the 11th floor.

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K looked at the two people staring at him, clearly happy to have them both under his power.

"I …have decided…." He drawled, purposely drawing it out to annoy Yuki, " that your relationship with Yuki …is unhealthy for your musical career…and if you don't stop this insanity right now…I'll shoot his brains out."

He cocked the gun.

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A loud thud brought Hiro and Ryuichi out of their thoughts and back to reality. They looked at each other in confusion, and then Ryu screamed as the elevator lights went out. A crackly voice filled the small room.

"Hello? Hello. Is anybody in this elevator?"

Hiro fumbled around for the intercom button.

"Hello! Hello yes we're here! We need to get out of here right now! Can you help us!"

"I'm very sorry sir, but the elevator is experiencing technical difficulties. You are currently stuck between the 6th and 7th floor. We have experienced a power outage, and have to wait for an electrician.

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Shuichi gaped at K in disbelief. What the hell? Did every single person in Japan want to stop them from being together? He came to his senses in time to launch himself in front of Yuki.

"Wait K! Stop! What the hell are you thinking? You know that I can only work well when I'm with Yuki!"

"No, I don't. I think that you just act spoiled, so that no one will try and break up this very unhealthy relationship. But I'm not going to be fooled anymore, you two have to stop seeing each other, or Shu will never make any progress in his career."

K flung Shuichi aside and raised the gun to Yuki's head again. Yuki backed up against the wall and flung open the balcony's sliding door in an attempt to escape, but stopped when he saw K point the gun at Shuichi's head. He raised his hands in the air and stood against the wall right beside the door. He dimly registered that his laptop, which had been hooked up to the outlet to charge, was no longer on.

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Hiro and Ryu sunk down to a sitting position, opposite each other. They could just make out the tears running down each other's faces in the dim emergency lights.

"We…we failed."

"Shuichi…"

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"I'll give you another chance Shuichi. Leave Yuki, or I'll shoot him."

Tears ran down Shuichi's face as he picked himself up off of the floor and glared at K. "I will never give up my Yuki!" He jumped again at Yuki and spread his arms out.

Fury crossed K's face, and he stalked over to Shuichi. A growl came from his throat as he once again grabbed Shuichi, ripped him off Yuki, and threw him to the side. Out onto the balcony. And over the railing.

The last thing that Shuichi saw before he felt his balance tip backwards was the horrified expression on Yuki's face, and the equal one on K's.

"YUUUUUUUUKKKIIIIIII!"

a/n hehehe I luv angst yup I do plleeeeease review I love it so much it brings joy to my cranky old heart !


	2. Shuichi's Decision

Hey again guys! omg I luv u all for giving my story a chance…wahhh! People are so cool! Lol sorry no lemons yet …maybe if I get over my interminable shyness (does that make sense to you?...didn't think so…) and besides its supposed to be ANGST!

Uh sorry but Its gonna get a little weird from here on in…

Oh ya and I know Im sorry but I was reading chappie one and I noticed holy crap yuki is out of character…sorry bout that!

Oh and btw I decided not to name the chapters…you probably don't really care but im going to tell because I can……muahahahahah…yes…ok on with the story.

SORRY SORRY SORRY TO HAVE TAKEN SO LONG TO UPDATE! My compie crashed  grrr….

Chapter Two

In the spilt second that he overbalanced, and started to fall backwards over the railing, Shuichi felt his heart stop. The following few seconds seemed to flash by in intervals. His arms flew up in a last ditch attempt to rebalance. Yuki leaping over to him with his hand outstretched. K falling back on the floor, horror written all over his face. The look on Yuki's face as his fingers just slipped through Shuichi's, failing to catch his grip. And the look on his face when he realized that he couldn't save his lover. That look, the one that Shuichi had been waiting for what seemed to be his entire life for, the one that told Shuichi that Yuki did love him.

An ironic chuckle flew out of his throat before a violent scream was wrenched involuntarily from his entire body. The next few seconds seemed to go by in slow motion, as his feet flipped past the balcony, and he realized that he was probably going to die. The last thing he saw before a brilliant flash of light overtook his senses was the heartbreaking, heart broken look on Yuki's face.

FLASH

_Shuichi looked around his cautiously. All that he could see was a really bright light that seemed to be emitting from the very air around him._

"_Did I die? Am I dead? I don't feel dead…is this…heaven?" He looked down at his hands. They seemed to be giving off the same strange light as everything else. What…?_

"_Confused much?" Shuichi tried to whirl around but found no resistance. "Oh, sorry I forgot, you're new to this…" Shu flinched as a very pretty boy appeared in front of him…well he thought it was a boy. Honestly, he couldn't tell, but that wasn't what struck him as weird about him…First of all, he was giving off a much brighter light than Shuichi or any of the surrounding air. And there was a beautiful pair of wings coming from behind his shoulders. Shu gaped at them speechlessly._

"_I AM in heaven…wow! An honest-to-god angel!"_

"_Hey are you going to have trouble concentrating like this, because I can change it." Shu still stared at them. "Yea…that's what I thought."_

_There was another flash of light, and suddenly Shuichi and the boy were sitting on a park bench, and his wings were gone._

_Disappointment crossed Shuichi's face when he realized that the wings were gone, quickly followed by confusion. _

"_What am I doing here? Am I dreaming? Was the whole thing with K some weird nightmare? Am I d—?"_

"_Dead? Nope, not yet, but you probably will be in less than a minute if you continue to freefall 11 stories up. Now, to clear up any confusion, I brought you here for a reason. Right now, we're halted between time. It's hard to explain, but think of it as the bottom layer of time. The top layer, things happen at normal speed, next layer, things happen a little slower, and eventually come to a stop…which is where, or when, we are right now._

"_Now that you understand that, let me explain why I brought you here. Usually, we're forbidden to associate ourselves with mortals, but exceptions can always be made. I first noticed you a few months back. Normally, any emotions that I can sense from people are so filtered out by greed, and anger, and anything else, by the time they reach me, they're weak and barely noticeable. But coming from you… pure love. I haven't gotten an emotion like that in so long, I didn't even recognize it at first. _

"_You give your entire heart, all of your love, away to this bastard, for absolutely nothing in return…time after time..."_

"_THAT'S NOT TRUE! YUKI LOVES ME!" Shuichi was now towering over the still calm being, clenching his fists. "I saw it in his eyes…I KNOW he loves me!" Tears started running down his face. "Yuki loves me…Yuki loves me! I know it's hard for him to show sometimes, well, all the time, but sometimes, the real Yuki shines through."_

_Shuichi looked up from his rant to see himself being closely watched by the entity sitting on the bench._

"_Did you ever consider that maybe, Yuki is the cause of this, the reason of your death?"_

"_NO! It's K's fault! You know it!"_

"_Oh, well K was the one who did it directly, but what if you had never met Yuki? What if you had met a nice girl in the park that night instead? You wouldn't be a few seconds away from being road kill, would you?"_

_Shuichi glared at him. "If I hadn't met Yuki, I would have died lonely! I could never love anyone but him! IF I hadn't known Yuki's love—"_

"_No. You could have known love. It may not have been the deep emotional love that you have for Yuki, but you wouldn't have known that. But you would also not know the despair. I've felt despair coming off you in waves, ever since you met him. Much more often that love, just wave after wave of heart breaking despair. You would have been better off without him...much. I cannot tolerate your stupidity much longer. If this had not happened, you would have likely have a nervous breakdown._

"_I brought you here to give you a choice. Listen carefully. You never should have been pushed out the window…but you never should have met Yuki. He was slowly breaking you, emotionally, to a point where you would never be the same. I can take you back to the day that you met him, in the park, and let you relive it, so that your meeting never occurred. But you must make certain that you don't ever meet him after that. I can only allow you to retain a memory of the time after that day, and this conversation with me, for a very short period of time. Defying the laws of physics a lot of work, and I could risk permanently damaging your brain if it had to live with two sets of memories of the same day for too long. You have to find a way to prevent your meeting with Yuki, and then you will forget him, live your life without him, healthy, and happy._

"_The other thing that you can do is continue your life where it left off, falling from an apartment in a high-rise building. It is unlikely that you will survive."_

_Shuichi stared at him. "Is…is this for real? I could really do that? But… I don't know if I could give up Yuki…I can't imagine life without loving him…" He turned to the angel in despair. _

"_I don't want to die! But I don't want to give up my Yuki either!"_

"_Either way you won't ever see him again!" Anger crossed the angel's face…if it was an angel._

"_Better to have loved and lost…than to have never loved at all!" Shuichi was on his feet again, with tears in his eyes, fists clenched at his side._

"_YOU DON"T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING!" The comforting park surrounding disappeared, replaced with angry black walls and a chilling wind. Shuichi wrapped his arms desperately around himself. The deity's face softened, and the park returned._

"_Shuichi…if you choose to die, you will be affecting too many people to count. Your mother, your father, sister, all of your family…and your friends…Bad Luck will be ruined, and so will Hiro and Suguru's chance at fame. And the person that will be hurt the most, the person who is the closest to you, would be Yuki. And how do you think that he will take the death of another person on his hands. It just might be enough to crack his fragile shell."_

"_IT WASN'T HIS FAULT!"_

"_I know it wasn't, but you know, just as I do that he won't believe that. He will stress over how if he had been a little quicker, a little smarter, he might have been able to save you. That kind of thinking is so destructive, and he won't last very long with his state of mind."_

_Shuichi stared down at his hands, clenched tightly in his lap. He didn't really have a choice. If he died, then he would never see Yuki again, but he would have known his love…(plus the being beside him was a good indication that there might be life after death) on the other hand, if he choose to go back and change what happened, he would also never see Yuki again, but he would be alive…but Yuki would still be the cold man that he was before he opened up to Shuichi, and he might try something drastic, like suicide. Tears welled up in Shuichi's eyes, and he furiously wiped them away. _

"_How…how long do I have to decide?"_

"_Well, technically, forever, but I really don't think that you want to be here that long. You know what I think, but I'll say it again. Go with life…it's always the safest."_

_Shuichi's eyes watered up again…_

_OH YUKI! I DON"T KNOW WHAT TO DO! _


	3. Never Look Back

Hello again everyone! Thanksie for stiking wit my story for soooo long I know it's a lil tedious  I think it'll get better soon….i hope at least! PLEASE REVIEW…it makes me happy!...omg this chappie took me soooooo long ARGH! I have a headached and its like midnight…wowow angst is fun to say but reaaaaally hard to write!

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_Shuichi, who was sitting on the ground, curled up in a ball, was being closely watched by the angel. His eyes were tightly squeezed shut, and despairing moans were heard coming from him now and then. The angel's eyes softened at the sight of him, and his heart twisted at the ordeal that he had to put Shuichi through. He was brought out of his thoughts by Shuichi's voice._

"_Umm…excuse me? What's your name?" _

"_Why do you want to know? You won't remember me, regardless of your decision, and we will almost definitely not meet again."_

"_Well…I just wanted to know, since you saved me and all…I thought………well…nevermind…"_

_The angel looked at him with a strange smile on his face._

"…_It's Logan"_

_Shuichi smiled at him… "Logan? Isn't that an American name," a look of understanding passed over his face, "ohh…I see now, you ARE a foreigner."_

"_Not really, but you can think of it like that…have you made your decision yet Shuichi?"_

_The smile dropped off of Shuichi's face._

"_I just…I don't know what to do…either way SUCKS!" His eyes flashed up, "What should I do I don't know oh man I don't know what to do ahhhhhhHHHH!"_

"_I can't make your decision for you…this has to be all your choice."_

_Shuichi hung his head._

"_I know…and I choose…life."_

_Logan sighed with relief…he hadn't thought that Shuichi was going to be smart enough, but apparently he had underestimated him. _

_A thought occurred to him, and he glared at Shuichi._

"_Just so you know, this same sequence of events will happen even if you meet Yuki at a later time…Were you thinking that you were still going to meet him through Tohma or someone, and you two could fall in love again? That cannot happen. Listen to me Shuichi. Choosing life means giving up Yuki…for life."_

_Shuichi's face fell…it was obvious that he had been counting on that very thing to happen. _

"_Can you…will you…tell me something?"_

"_What?"_

"_If I never met Yuki, would he have…hurt himself…or worse?"_

_Logan searched Shuichi's face. "Will this affect your decision?"_

"_Yes"_

"_Ok, I will tell you this: If you die, Yuki will very likely kill himself. If you never meet…he will not have a reason to. He will merely keep his memories oppressed, showing only the cold side of himself to everyone."_

"_W…will he find love?"_

_Logan just looked at Shuichi. "That, I cannot say."_

_Tears welled up in Shuichi's eyes again. He already knew what his decision was going to be, but he didn't want to say it out loud. He was afraid of the finality in his voice. _

"_Then I choose…I choose…" Shuichi's voice trailed off into sobs. When he had finally gotten his emotions under control, if only for a second, he clenched his fists, and stared Logan right in the eye. _

"_I CHOOSE TO LIVE!" As the last of his scream died away, he saw the bright flash of light again, and felt his body spiralling out of control…_

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(A/N I wasn't sure which meeting scenario I should use for them, and I finally went with the one from the show, cuz its easiest to describe….sorry if that bugs you!)

SLAM!

Damn writer's block! Yuki crashed his coffee mug down on the desk as hard as he could, only succeeding in spilling the burning liquid all over himself.

"FUCK!" Shaking his hand around to cool it off, he knocked over a framed picture that was sitting on his desk.

"FUCK!" The broken shards of glass sprayed across the floor, and the photo slipped out from the frame's sides.

"What the fuck?" Yuki examined the picture: two cute blond boys with their arms over each other's shoulders were smiling at the camera.

Apparently Tohma had paid him another secret visit. Well, this wasn't as bad as the last time, when he had thrown out all of Yuki's clothes, sheets, and food, and then hired someone to buy him new stuff…he was still returning some of the crap that he didn't need.

Deciding to go for a walk to clear his head, he grabbed his coat and ran out the door.

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Shuichi stumbled to a halt, and sat down on the ground hard. "_I CHOOSE LIFE!"_ His scream still echoed in his ears, as he pulled himself up to his feet. Sorrow weighed down on his heart, making it hard for him to breathe.

"Oh Yuki! I chose life…I chose life…without you…did I really make the right decision?"

Tears started streaming down his face. Shuichi stumbled over a nearby park bench, contemplating his course of action. Every second of the day that he had met Yuki was burned into his mind, andShuichi knew that the second he had seen Yuki, he had fallen for him.

"I…I don't know if I can do this Yuki! I don't know if I can bear to forget you! I don't think I'm strong enough!" Loud sobs were torn from his throat. Logan's voice echoed in his head, foretelling Yuki's suicide.

"I…have to do it. I have to save Yuki and myself. I have to run right by him, not look him in the face…and never look back.

A violent sneeze threw his head back against the bench, and he knew that the time of their meeting was approaching. He peered around the bushes and saw the shadowed character walking towards him.

An idea occurred to Shuichi…one that would be safe, and would be completely anonymous. He grabbed a pen from his pocket, and searched for a piece of paper. Coming up with only the one that had his new lyrics written on it, he shrugged, and flipped the paper over to the back side. In neat black characters he wrote: I will always love you…

Waterfalls were pouring from his eyes by now. He grabbed up the paper, and tore off in the direction of Yuki. Pausing one more time, he scribbled a tiny message on the inside of his hand that read "_No Yuki"_ so that he could give himself some kind of warning in the future.

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Yuki walked through the park slowly. He took a deep breath of the polluted air, and coughed. Footsteps echoed in the air towards him, but he was too busy searching his pocket for his pack and lighter.

A sobbing voice caught his attention, and he looked up just in time to see a pink blur flash by, and drop something by his feet.

"Hey, wait!" The person half turned around, so Yuki knew that they had heard him, and then started running even faster away from him.

Yuki shrugged. It wasn't his problem people dropped their shit. At least he tried, which was more than he would normally do. Picking up the paper and studying it in his hands, he realized that it was lyrics to a song. A really bad song.

He chuckled to himself. This was awful, like something a 12-year-old would write. But the person flashing by had been pretty small…he flipped the page over, and read the simple sentence on the back.

"I will always love you…ha!" Yuki laughed out loud to conceal the uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach. A strange sensation, of loss came over him, and he almost felt like crying, which he hadn't done in six years. A crazy thought came over him, and he almost turned around to follow that person, but he reasoned with himself.

"I'm just tired, that's all…I am stressed out, strung out on caffeine and alcohol, and I really need sleep." But he still couldn't shake off the strange feeling.

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Shuichi ran sobbing through the streets. With each step of the way, his memories got a little fuzzier, and he could remember less and less about Yuki. Stopping outside of the train station, he took a deep breath, and leaned against the wall. He could remember almost none of his times with Yuki, but he still knew what he had to do. Taking another deep breath, he straightened his clothes, and squared his shoulders.

"Goodbye…Yuki."

And with that he slowly took one more step forwards. Smiled as a great weight was lifted off his mind and heart. And collapsed into a dead faint.

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Phew! My fingers hurt! Wowo….sorry about mistakes my spellchecker only picks up half the stuff it should have…PLEASE REVIEW I WILL LOVE YOU SOOOO MUCH AND IT MAKES ME HAPPY! I EVEN DON"T MIND FLAMES!


	4. Inspiration

…hello again…wow I think im being pretty speedy on my updates, this is like my third chapter in a week…ya this won't last long…

Disclaimer : AHH I forget before sorry anyone who cares (cuz we all know that's everyone)

Damn I just thought I think I forget to name that last chappie…FUCK…no wait…maybe I did…oh well im much too lazy to check…blah…

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Shuichi groaned, lifting a weary hand up to his face. Where…was he? A bright light shining right in his face made it impossible to see anything, and he blinked rapidly until the room came into focus. A quick glance revealed that he was back in his apartment, and all of the lights were on full blast. He dropped his head back down, onto the soft pillow. Ok, so he was in his bed, in his apartment. But how the fuck had he gotten here?

Dragging himself out of bed, he decided that maybe he would remember something after a cup of coffee. As he poured the water into the coffee pot, he scanned his memories of the night before. The last thing that he remembered doing was running through the streets crying…about something. Oh well, he shook it off, reasoning that half the time he had no idea what he was crying about anyways…but for some reason, this had seemed really important.

Damn it! He slammed his hand down on the table, and winced at the contact. Examining his hand for any damage, he noticed a little note written on his hand…it said: No Yuki…well what the fuck did that mean? And who wrote that there…he certainly didn't remember doing it. He tried saying the words out loud.

"No Yuki…No Yuki?" He didn't know anyone named Yuki…maybe he was kidnapped by an over zealous fan girl named Yuki! No…that story definitely had holes….Yuki…Yuki…yuki! Maybe he was depressed about winter time and decided to write a pointless note on his palm (a/n I think yuki means snow in Japanese…but I don't remember…correct me if im wrong plz). It had happened before, so this idea wasn't too far-fetched. Pleased with himself, Shuichi got up to pour himself a cup of coffee.

Now, onto the much more pressing matter he liked to call: "what the fuck happened to him last night and why couldn't he remember?" Let's see…he was walking home through the park, and fell down…he couldn't remember why but…

"HEY! Maybe THAT"S why I was crying!" He grinned again, another mystery solved. Ok…next thing he remembered was running through the streets…no wait…

A flash of blond hair jumped into his mind, and a voice calling after him, which brought strange shivers down his spine. Shuichi jumped up from his table, pacing nervously. Maybe this guy…or girl…no it was definitely a guy, judging by the voice he remembered…was a fan! YES that must be it, and they hassled him for an autograph, but he had to run away! Shuichi laughed excitedly and danced a little victory dance. Mystery solved!

He failed to realize that he still didn't know how he had gotten home (he had walked, and for some reason didn't remember…maybe it had something to do with the door he ran into on his way to the bedroom…) and that it was unlikely that someone recognized him, as he was not yet famous.

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A week later…

(a/n ARGh I can't remember how long it took them to get famous)

Yuki once again slammed his fist down in frustration. He needed INSPIRATION like hell…damn it! He almost considered taking a walk, but remembering what had happened last night decided that maybe a TV break was his best bet. Grabbing a beer from the fridge, and some chips out of the cupboard, he headed over to his enormous plasma screen that wall mounted on the wall, and flicked it on.

Crap, news, crap, news, baseball(ugh), crap, holy crap more news, hmm…music videos? Yuki stuck with the lesser of MANY evils, and went with videos. The program was currently doing a break between the singing, and they were showing a chart comparing Ryuichi Sakuma to some new singer…Shuichi Shindou. Well, they certainly had some similar physical features, same haircut, same build, same facial features, but having met Ryuichi in person, Yuki knew that no one in the world had a personality to match his hyperactive, child state. He chuckled at the thought of this new guy dealing with Ryuichi.

This singer, Yuki noticed, was very feminine. Unlike Ryuichi, he gave off an almost girly air, compared to the lead singer of Nittle Grasper, who had a very definite, masculine feeling coming from him, despite his child mode.

"And now, the latest video from the quickly rising Bad Luck!" The music, Yuki was surprised to see, had a very catchy tune, and he found himself intrigued by it. The opening shot of Shuichi Shindou jogged his memory, and he recalled the small pink blur that had gone flying by him in the park that day. Could that…could that have been Shindou? Carefully examining the singer, he was suddenly struck by an idea for his novel.

Paper, paper, he needed paper! Searching his pockets, he discovered the crumbled up piece from last week. Ignoring the little note on the back, he wrote out the plot summary of his latest novel onto the paper, carefully avoiding the little message already there.

Yuki looked up about ten minutes later, shaking out his cramping hand. He had managed to fit the three last chapters of his book, or at the least the outline, on the big piece of paper. Ok, so now all he needed was a beginning and middle…great.

Turning his attention back to the television, Yuki sat back and watched the video. Was it possible that this was the same person who had almost flattened him in the park the other day? He certainly had the same small feminine body, and the hair definitely matched the description…who had pink hair anyways? But then again, he realized that with the rise of a new pop star, there were likely to be mimics who dyed their hair exactly the same.

The lyrics to the song were bad. He winced inwardly at the awkward phrasing, and wondered for a brief moment if his nature as a writer made him see that, or if everyone did too. Well, if they were famous, maybe no one else noticed the bad writing. Yuki sighed…yet another thing to set him apart from the rest of the world, as if his hair and eyes weren't enough.

After a last glance at the singer, Shuichi turned off the TV and picked up the phone.

"Hello, Tohma?"

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Shuichi bounded around the studio, smiling happily at everyone and everything he passed.

"Hi! Hello there! Hey! What's up?" Hiro and Suguru walked calmly behind him, giving polite bows to the people that Shuichi breezed by. They gave quick glances to each other as Shuichi ran into yet another person, and spilled them onto the floor on top of him.

"Sorry, so sorry." They repeated, uniformly each grabbing one of Shuichi's arms and hauling him up, then offering a hand to the person on the floor in a way that suggested they had done this routine many times.

The person they knocked over stood shocked, staring at them. Apparently they were new at the studio, and had never been run over by Shuichi before (everyone else in the building had been run over at least twice or three times).

"C-can you tell me where Tohma's office is? I have an important message for him."

"Sure, top floor, only room up there."

"Thanks."

Shuichi continued on his rampage through the halls, thankfully making to their designated recording studio without knocking over any more people (the same couldn't be said for inanimate objects). They set up for recording in "record" time and Shuichi started singing with more than his usual passion. Hiro and Suguru exchanged glances. SOMEone was in a good mood today. At least that meant less hassle for them…so no arguments were made there.

About half way through the session, there was a knock at the door.

"Excuse me? Is this Bad Luck?"

"Yes, this is us…what is it?"

"Tohma wants to see uh…," the man checked his note, "Shuichi Shindou." One Shuichi got over the indignity (in his mind) of someone not knowing exactly who he was, he plodded over to the door with a curious expression on his face.

"Does the note say why?"

"Are you one to argue with the boss? Just go already!" Shuichi tried to glare at the man, but failed miserably. He took compensation in snorting angrily and leaving without saying another word.

Making it to the elevator without accident (a definite record for him) he pressed the button for the top floor, and stood impatiently as the doors closely, humming under his breath. His toes tapped impatiently on the floor, and his hands fidgeted, tapping out a beat on the elevator wall.

When the doors finally opened, Shuichi tumbled out onto the floor, landing in a tangled heap. He had been leaning against the doors, taking a nap on the very long way up to the top floor. (We're taking skyscrapers here!.)

A chuckling voice reached his ears.

"Hello Shuichi, nice to see you again."

"Hello Seguchi-san, you too."

Tohma smiled kindly at Shuichi, motioning for him to sit down in one of the chairs facing his desk.

"I just got a call from my brother-in-law. He just watched your latest music video, and finds your singing an inspiration to his writing (Yuki's words went a little more differently than that, as you can probably imagine). He was wondering if he could have the chance to meet you. I told him that I had to ask your permission, and so here you are. Now, he is famous, much like yourself, perhaps you've heard of him? His name is Yuki Eiri and he writes very popular romance novels.

Shuichi stopped squirming in his seat and looked Tohma straight in the eye.

"Yuki?"

The image of the little note on his hand ran through his mind, and although he tried to tell himself that it had been an innocent little note about winter, the warning ran through his mind. No Yuki No Yuki No Yuki...

"NO YUKI!" Tohma looked on in shock as Shuichi screamed out these words, and then ran out of the room like a psychopath.

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review please and I will love you forever! Yayayayay thank you all my reviewers from last time! Wowo that chappie was hard…and its sooo short…sorry about that!

Ta ta for now!


	5. A Strange Dream

Hallo all! Thanks for sticking with this story for so long! I think it will pick up soon…ok first item on the agenda…chapter four. Im sorry, it sucked, and wasn't very exciting, and didn't make a lot of sense. Please forgive me…

Next, thank of course to all my reviewers! i love athrun, Asato-chan, Eiri'sLover, 7Person7, saiyukigirl227, WhiteDragonWolfRyu, Angelique Starlight (you were right I do love you!) and Fuku Doll (sorry about the caps! Sometimes I get a little excited…). Thank you especially jai-mOony for pointing out that I didn't accept anonymous reviews! I didn't even know! and also sorry about the confusion with the "no yuki" …this probably isn't going to make much more sense, and had I been thinking about it at the time, I probably could have come up with something better, but it just is meant to serve as a warning, like (wow this is even cheesy in my head, but) no yuki allowed, or something along those lines….ya its even worse written down…you know…like those signs that say no loitering…wow this is getting out of control…im just gonna stop now…

Last of all, happy or sad ending…this story completely took a hold of me, and now is leading me off into the unknown depths (HA!) of what little imagination I have…so tell me what you think please!

Disclaimer: don't own it

Warning: almost lemon…it was hard to write…prolly not too good either…sorry, I tried.

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Tohma openly gaped at the elevator doors closing behind Shuichi. He couldn't imagine what had brought on the outburst, and being such a calm person, could not relate to Shuichi whatsoever. Getting up from his desk, he walked over to the counter and poured himself a drink. While he looked out his office window, taking in the beauty of Japan, he sipped his drink slowly, and wondered about Shuichi's reaction. Maybe they already knew each other? Maybe Shuichi had been one of Yuki's past lovers? But Tohma dismissed these thoughts quickly, as it had seemed from Yuki's message that he was anxious to meet Shuichi for the first time. He shook his head quietly. What a very, very strange boy…

Tohma walked past all the awards and trophies on the walls, past the closet door, and into the elevator, grabbing his coat from the rack beside the shiny silver doors. He had an appointment to set up with Yuki, to determine exactly his relationship with Shuichi Shindou.

A few hours later…

A bright ray of sunshine was blasted in Yuki's eye as he shifted slightly to the left, and he pulled back his head quickly, blinking his eyes. Ignoring the fact that he was a guest in Tohma's office, he got up and started adjusting the blinds to suit his need. Fixing them so that they perfectly shone against the mirror at the back of the room, and right into the vision of whoever would be sitting in the boss' chair, he chuckled sneakily and sat down. On an afterthought, he got up again, and poured himself a glass of wine.

Minutes later, Tohma came breezing through the elevator doors.

"Sorry about that, one of the new bands needed help setting up an interview, and their manager was sick for the day…how are you Eiri?"

He sat down in his chair, adjusting the paper's on his desk. Yuki watched carefully as he looked up, and the sun hit him directly in the eye. He was slightly disappointed to see that Tohma had almost no reaction, except a twitch in his eyes, and a slight maneuvering of his chair to the left. Then he allowed himself a smirk. He would take what small victories that he could.

"I received your message earlier today Eiri, although I hadn't heard from you in a while, it is always nice to receive a letter about someone else. At least you inquired about my health, which is always nice too."

Yuki ignored the light sarcasm in his brother-in-law's voices.

"You're welcome."

"Well then, moving onto business, when I asked Shuichi about meeting you, the strangest thing happened…" Yuki was curious, despite himself.

"Did he faint? Ask for a piece of my hair, an autograph, something like that?"

"Uhh…not quite…"

"Well, what happened?"

"Well…he …jumped up and ran out of the room screaming: "NO YUKI!"

Yuki stared at Tohma, with his mouth slightly open.

"Yes, that was my reaction too. It seemed to me that he was afraid of you, or something like that, but I was under the impression…Eiri, have you met him before?"

"Well…sort of."

Tohma studied Yuki's face suspiciously.

"How…well do you know him?"

"You want to know if I've slept with him? Why don't you just ask?" Yuki leaned forwards, smirking at Tohma. Despite a terrible inner struggle, the boss of N-G recordings, who had had a lot of experience with concealing his emotions, managed to keep a straight face.

"Yes…that is what I want to know. You know that is what I want to know. Why don't you tell me, and then you can go home to work on your novel, like I know you want to."

Yuki leaned back in his chair, a scowl on his face from having his fun ruined. A "bright" idea occurred to him, and he looked at Tohma.

"I think you **know** too much." With that, the famous writer got up and walked out of the room, trying to laugh at his awful pun…without much success. He stopped at the door, ruining his dramatic (ha!) exit.

"I have honestly never met the kid in my life."

Tohma watched the door swing shut thoughtfully. Didn't anyone here know how to leave a meeting politely?

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Shuichi opened the door to his apartment, sighing in relief. The cold breeze that hit him the second he walked in was close to heaven, and did very well in relaxing his tense muscles after such a stressful day. He had been doing so great in the morning, and then after the meeting things went down hill. Being not completely concentrated on his task was not a good thing in the music business, and he had not been able to record any more songs that day. Everyone had gone home a little frustrated, especially Shuichi.

A red light flashed on the answering machine. Shuichi pressed the play button on his way into the bathroom.

"You have: two new messages…"

BEEP!

"Hey, it's me, Hiro, uhh…I just wanted to see if you needed a ride to work tomorrow, and maybe if we get some work done we can go out clubbing after work? I think you really need a girl man, you're acting weird…so …ya phone when you get back in…bye!"

BEEP!

"Hello Shuichi, I hope that this is your home number. This is Seguchi Tohma, and I was wondering if I could set up another meeting with you tomorrow, so we could finish our conversation from today. Come up to my office at three tomorrow."

BEEP

"End of messages."

Shuichi skidded out of the bathroom, across the tiled floor, and came to a crashing halt in front of the vending machine. A quick glance in a mirror told him that his cheeks were bright red, giving away his embarrassment. Oh no! Was he going to get fired for leaving like that! He didn't mean to be offensive! Crap! Pausing for a breath, he inhaled deeply, and tried to think it over. It was unlikely that Tohma would fire him, as he was doing so well in the music business, but he never could tell.

Oh well! He adopted his usual cheery look and skipped into the kitchen, putting these problems out of his mind for the time being.

That night, Shuichi tossed and turned in his bed. He woke up more than once with his blankets tangled all around him, or on the floor. Finally, in the early morning, he drifted off into an intense dream, leaving a smile on his face.

_Shuichi was standing outside of a door, listening to the sounds coming from the inside of the room. Click click…the keyboard's keys were loud enough to be heard outside. _

In his bed, a twisted look took over Shuichi's face as he tried to remember what he was doing there. Who was in the room?

_His hand trembled slightly as he reached up to knock on the door._

_"What do you want brat?"_

He knew that voice…where was it from…it was a deep voice, obviously a man.

_Shuichi smiled happily. He was acknowledged! With a great squeal, he bounded into the room and over to the tall, blond man sitting at the desk._

Who was that man? Was he a foreigner?...he had blond hair, just like that man from the park the other night…

_"Hey Yuki! How's the novel coming? Did you get lots of chapters done? I'm hungry, will you make me something to eat?"_

Shuichi froze in his bed, the name ringing over and over in his head…but in his dream, there wasn't any fear of this Yuki…maybe he was wrong about the note…

_"You're always hungry Shuichi…why don't you learn how to cook yourself?"_

_"Because you banned me from the kitchen, remember? The last time that I burned the soup?"_

_"Oh ya…damn…well I'm busy, you can eat later." Even as he said it, he knew that it wasn't an option._

_"WAHHH! Yuki I'm hungry! Don't be so mean!" Shuichi pouted in a very cute way, and bounced up onto Yuki's lap._

_"I'm sitting here until you make me food."_

WHAT? Who was this guy! Shuichi twitched around in his bed, and eventually fell on the floor.

_Yuki got up, dumping him unceremoniously on the floor, and headed out of the room. Shuichi gathered himself up, and followed happily, humming a tune to himself. But Yuki didn't head to the kitchen, instead, he went to the bedroom, and disappeared through the door with a last look back at Shuichi. _

_If at all possible, Shuichi's grin grew even wider, and he skipped over to the bedroom and looked in the door. Yuki was lying on the bed, still fully clothed, looking at him. The hyperactive teen bounced over to the bed, and started crawling towards Yuki. Giggling under his breath, he stopped with his lips a few inches away from his lover's and inhaled his scent. Leaning in a little closer, he slowly brushed their lips together. _

_Yuki smiled into the kiss, and then grabbed the back of Shuichi's neck, pulling him in for a much deeper, more passionate kiss. Their hot tongues rolled over each other, and soon Shuichi pulled back to take a breath._

_Sitting back on his heels, he started to undo his black shirt, fumbling with the buttons. Yuki sighed impatiently, and leaned over to help him. His right hand was propping himself up, and as Yuki got the first button undone, he put down his left hand too. Except there was no resistance meeting his hand, and he was falling down._

_Yuki reached out his hand, and all of a sudden they were outside, and Shuichi was still falling. He felt his feet hit a balcony rail, and his heart stopped when he realized how high up he was. Twisting to look down, he saw the pavement a very long way down, but still speeding up to meet his helpless body._

"AHHHHHHHH!" Shuichi woke up screaming and soaked with sweat. What the? Who the hell was this guy? Was this guy Yuki? Why was he having dreams about MEN! He wasn't gay, or, at least he didn't think that he was…oh MAN! He was SO messed up.

In an attempt to clear his mind, and not think ANY more about this Yuki business, he decided to watch some TV.

The television had been left on a celebrity interview channel. Shuichi smiled, it must have been Hiro the last time he was here.

The screen flashed to the interviewer's face, as she was asking the celebrity a question.

"So, Eiri, about your new novel that is coming out next month, what are we to expect from it? More steamy love scenes?" She smiled at the man.

The last thing that Shuichi saw before he fainted was the handsome face, framed in blond hair, answering the question with a knowing smirk on his face.

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Thanks for reading! you know the routine!...but I'll say it anyways please review I accept anonymous reviews now (sorry about before) …is it just me or is Tohma's character so much funny in the manga than the show…and what is with him being so nice in the OVA?...whatever! I still love them the same! Luv you all and toodles!


	6. A Slightly Drunken Encounter

Bonjour…salut…howdy fans and admirers (ya right…) ! I'm just listening to this really cool song (numa numa iei…I think…) its really good and once you listen to it, go to and watch the numa numa dance video…or don't whatever but its cute…

So…on to more serious topics…I need you guys to tell me…happy or sad ending? I need to know…I have ideas for both! And I'm so lost cuz I have no idea where this story is going…definitely not where I planned on ending up…so please review and tell me your opinion! Only about four or five more chapters to go! Woohoo the end is near…

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Shuichi sat on his couch, staring at his TV with an open mouth. What was going on? This guy was HAUNTING him. (By now, he had pretty much decided that the guy from the park was this same guy who was smirking back at with a knowing grin on his face, despite any logic his brain might try to use against him.) First he gets a weird note about him, and then Tohma tries to set up a meeting with this guy, and THEN, as if this wasn't enough, this ….this Yuki guys starts invading his dreams! Now, he was on the TV…

"Is this guy stalking me or something!"

Later that morning, Shuichi quietly (for a change) left his apartment and locked the door behind him. He was in a considerably better mood than when he had woken up: his favourite TV show had been on right after the interview, and he had spent a happy half hour singing and dancing to its songs. Now, as he walked through the park, he could almost put this Yuki business behind him, and concentrate on what a beautiful day it was.

To avoid traffic, and the smog that usually accompanies it, Shuichi decided to take the long way to work, and go through the park. With a smile plastered happily on his face, he wandered by all of the running children and their hassled parents. He was thankful that he had worn his favourite black t-shirt and shorts today, because it was the hottest weather they'd had for a while.

Shuichi began contemplating the message that Hiro had left on his machine. Did he really need a girl? It was true that he felt lonely sometimes, but he had never really felt the need of all the other attachments that come with a relationship. Besides…he had Hiro…who else did he need? Speaking of which, talk about the pot calling the kettle black! Hiro hadn't had a girlfriend in…well, Shuichi couldn't remember how long it had been.

He chuckled to himself…hypocrite.

Then, something happened that made Shuichi stop right where he was standing. Looking across the park, and the benches near the road, he could see the back of a blond head, staring down at something on his lap. Ok, now this guy was DEFINITELY stalking him!

"Ahhhhhh! Hiro!"

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Yuki shook his head with frustration. He had enough of a headache trying to write this novel without some kid screaming around the park. Couldn't people learn to be decent in public? He didn't even know why he was here. Usually he avoided the park like crazy, but lately it had become his favourite (or at least most frequent) place to be.

He threw down his notebook angrily. Damn it! He had never had such terrible writer's block…what was the matter with him. It had started that night he ran into that stupid kid at the park. Ever since then, he couldn't concentrate on anything. It felt like he had forgotten something, like an appointment, or a special meeting. It bothered him so much that he would wake up in the middle of the night, covered in sweat, with a horrible feeling in the pit of his stomach, trying to remember what he had forgotten.

But this kid, this pink hair, girlish kid, could somehow give him inspiration, and he hadn't even met him face-to-face. Therefore, they must meet, and Yuki could see if his theory of inspiration was true. If not, he would never have to see this kid again. Besides, he would take what help he could get, considering he had only written one (incredibly crappy) chapter of his book in about two weeks.

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By the time Shuichi had gotten to the studio, he was an out-of-breath, babbling, crying mess. It took Sakano, Suguru and K about twenty minutes to finally decipher what he was trying to tell them, only to realize that he only wanted to talk to Hiro, who was, coincidentally, late that day.

They all tried to cheer Shuichi up while they waited for Hiro to come in, but to no avail. He was so deep in his hole of depression he didn't even talk to anyone until Hiro came waltzing in the door forty-five minutes later.

"Hey, why the long faces?" Hiro's question was met with two red, angry faces, and the muzzle of a gun. His eyes widened. The gun gestured over to his right, and Hiro saw a depressed pink ball huddled facing the corner, making soft whimpering sounds. Rolling his eyes, he waved with his hand for everyone to leave, and went over to talk to Shuichi.

A soft touch on his shoulder brought Shuichi out of his trance, and he looked up to see his best friend staring down at him with a worried look on his face. His eyes filled up with tears yet again, and Hiro immediately bent down to hug him.

About an hour later, the entire story of the "stalker" had been relayed to Hiro. The meeting in the park, the note on his hand, Tohma's meeting, the dream (at which point Hiro was blushing like CRAZY) the interview on television, and finally, the sighting in the park. Hiro, for once, really had no idea what to do. This was quite a strange story, and as far as he was concerned, it was all in Shuichi's imagination…especially the dream. He must have just seen that guy somewhere before, and subconsciously added him to his dream…after all, this Yuki Eiri (Hiro had read some of his books) was pretty damn hot. He looked just like a chick! It was the obvious explanation, but Shuichi's mind didn't always work in a logical way.

At least trying to explain the situation to Shuichi might stop him from freaking out, so Hiro decided to try.

"Uhh…Shuichi?"

"Yeah?" Shuichi turned his tear-filled eyes up at Hiro.

"Uh…about your dream…?" Hiro blushed, trying to get the words out.

"You want to hear it again? Hiro!" Shuichi smiled mischievously through his tears.

"Uhh...NO! Shuichi that's not what I…" But Shuichi had already launched into it again.

"Well, we were sitting on the couch, watching TV…I think…with fairies or something…and I was lying with my head in Yuki's lap, and he bent down and…" Shuichi trailed off as he realized that he was recounting something entirely different from the dream. Hiro stared at him.

"Uhhh…Shuichi? What? I thought you said that it started outside of a door?"

"Uhh…it …did. Kyaaa! Hiro I don't know where that came from! That wasn't part of the dream! What's going on! I think I'm going crazy." The last part was spoken in such a calm voice that Hiro was obliged to agree.

"Shuichi…I think that you're just stressed. You need to relax a bit. Come out to the club tonight with me, ok? We can meet some chicks, get wasted, and have a good time!" Despite his happy words, Hiro was really worried about his friend.

After thinking it over for a minute, Shuichi agreed.

"Pick me up at 8 o'clock ok?"

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It turned out that a night out at the karaoke club was exactly what Shuichi needed. Hiro and him sang and danced all night long, sometimes with each other, and sometimes with girls who approached them. They did a duet together, which of course was followed by an encore, and then Shuichi did an bouncy preppy song, so characteristic of him, that left tears of laughter in the audience's eyes.

After drinking about ten shots (each) Shuichi said goodbye to the girls that they had been chatting with, and buying drinks for, and started his walk home. It was quite a long way away, and so he had a lot of time to think. One of the girls had offered to come home with him, but he had said that he wasn't really in the mood, with an apologetic smile, and slipped out. It wasn't that she wasn't hot, because she was. Drop dead gorgeous actually, but for some reason he wasn't attracted, even after all the drinks he had. As he left, he saw her walk unsteadily back to the bar, and just as he was walking out the door he caught Hiro's worried glance in his direction.

Walking through the streets at night was a very…interesting experience. All of the night life suddenly came alive, and exploded into the city. Bright neon lights flashed, signs flickered, and scantily dressed girls wandered the sidewalks. And it was an even more beautiful city during the night, when all of its flaw were hidden by shadows.

A quiet tune was hummed under his breath, and his step once again had that certain bounce that it had lacked for the past week. A few stray pink hairs fell into his face, and he smoothly brushed them out of the way, poking himself in the eye in the process (he really is drunk).

"OW!" With his newly acquired injury, Shuichi failed to see the slight movement out of the corner of his eye. He also didn't notice the man who started following him, a hat firmly pulled over his head, and his coat turned up at the collar to prevent recognition. But what he couldn't overlook the hand that clamped down on his shoulder and shoved him into the alley.

"Hey! Ow! What are you doing? Let me—" A hand covered his mouth, and he bit down hard.

"FUCK!" A mangled scream tore through the air, and the two began to struggle. Somehow, in the process, the hat was knocked off the man's head, revealing…blond hair.

"What the FUCK is your problem dumbass? Was it necessary to BITE me! Damn I think I'm bleeding now!" Shuichi just looked at him with a dazed expression on his face.

"Hello? Are you retarded or something? Answer me!" Snapping out of his trance, Shuichi glared at Yuki.

"Excuse me? YOU are the one who grabbed me and covered my mouth! If your hand hadn't been there, I wouldn't have been able to bite it!"

"That is the most ridiculous logic I have ever heard! In fact, it's not even logic, it's like, anti-logic! You were going to scream, and people would think I was raping you or mugging you or something!"

"You…aren't?...oh…well, you could have explained that to me!"

"Yeah, that would have gone over well: 'Hi, it's ok, it's only Yuki. Come with me to the alley. I just want to talk, I don't want to rap you or mug you or anything like that."

"Yuki…?"

"Yes, Yuki Eiri."

"Yuki Eiri…?"

"YES! Are you a goddamn parrot or something? Say something original!"

Something finally got past the alcohol barrier (or perhaps was provoked by it) in Shuichi's mind, and he looked up at the blond man scowling down at him.

"NO YUKI!" And ran away screaming. Again.

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thanks for reading! Review please! Byebye and luvs ya all! Sorry about the delay I screwed up my other story, and my account got blocked  (tears) oh well I think I'll have two chapters to add instead of one to make up for it…please don't be mad!


	7. Officially Meeting

Hi there! It's me again (duh) I hope you liked the last chapter, I found it kind of confusing…ah well, so is the entire story, so…

Bye for now!

Disclaimer: I don't own gravitation, or the song Shuichi sings (Barbie Girl by Aqua)

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Something else came through his garbled mind, as he was running blinding through the streets. He had forgotten all about his meeting with Tohma! Pulling out his cell phone (after making sure that he was not being followed) he put through a call to his boss.

"Moshi moshi Seguchi-san here."

"H..hello? This is Shuichi?"

"Hello? Shuichi Shindou? Is that you?"

"Y…yes."

"What's wrong…are you…are you drunk?"

"PROBABLY!" He giggled, trying to remember why he phoned.

"Oh YA! Umm…I'm am very sorry Seguchi-san! I missed our meeting tonight! Please forgive me!"

"Oh, Shuichi, didn't Hiro tell you? He phoned me to tell me that you couldn't make it…something about being indisposed? Well, if that's all, I really have to go. It's about one in the morning."

Shuichi sleepily acknowledged his watch. "Oops! Sorry! See you at work tomorrow!"

He hung up, and continued his run back home.

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Bleahhhhh….Shuichi tentatively pryed open his eyes, but immediately shut them again when he was encountered with a bright light. His head felt like it was splitting in two.

"Owww…." Shuichi stumbled to the kitchen as he tried to remember why he had a hangover. This was not accomplished until he had finished off two or three cups of coffee.

He smiled as he remembered Hiro dancing with that beautiful brunette…what was her name…Ayami or something? Hiro really had been right about that night, they'd had so much fun at the karaoke bar, singing, dancing and, of course, drinking. The smile abruptly left his face as his encounter with Yuki came rushing back. What was with this guy?

Picking up the phone, he dialed Hiro's number and waited.

RING

RING

"Hello," a girl's sleepy voice answered the phone, "Who is this?"

"It's Shuichi, is Hiro there?"

"Yup, just one second," Shuichi thanked her, and impatiently tapped his fingers on the table.

"Hey Shuichi, what's up? Killer night yesterday eh?"

"Yea…no kidding man! Hey, was that the chick you met at the bar? Ayami…no! Ayaka! Wow she was hot man good job!"

"…uh…Shuichi?"

"Hey, it's ok if you don't want to talk about it!" Hiro could almost hear the smirk on Shuichi's face through the phone.

"Um…it's not that Shuichi, it's just, I don't know who you're talking about. That girl who answered the phone, her name is Kikyou. And I can't remember the other girl's names, but they were all blonde."

"No! Hiro don't joke around! I remember! I was singing karaoke, you know that really sad love song? And I looked down and saw you two dancing really close to each other. You looked so cute too! It was like you had been a couple forever!"

"Shu, you must have been totally smashed! I definitely did NOT meet a girl named Ayaka…and also, you didn't sing a love song, remember Shuichi? You sang that cheerleader song that made everyone laugh."

**Flashback**

_Shuichi bounced around on stage, smiling widely._

"_I'm a Barbie girl, in a Barbie woooooorld! Life in plastic, it's fantastic!" The audience roared with laughter. "You can comb my hair, undress me anywheeeeeeere!" He looked down to see Hiro and the blond girl dancing crazily together, giggling and falling all over the place._

**End Flashback **

"Hello? Hello! Shuichi are you still there! Hello?"

"Sorry Hiro, I gotta go. Bye." Shuichi dropped the phone onto the floor and collapsed on the couch. A splitting headache returned to him, and he wrinkled up his forehead in concentration. He could remember the girl, Ayaka, and singing the sad song, but when he looked back at his night, he couldn't see where they fit in. Screwing up his eyes even more, he pushed at his memory harder, trying to remember what was responsible for his dilemma.

"Damn!" All he could remember beside them was this Yuki guy. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't get his shining blond hair, and beautiful light eyes out of his—

**Flashback**

_Shuichi slowly walked along the edge of the stage, looking out at the audience. He smiled to see Hiro and Ayaka dancing happily close together, glad that he had some part in his friend's happiness. It was very uncharacteristic for him to be singing such a sad love song, but he had just felt in the mood tonight. He looked up from the last chorus of the song, and saw, at the very back of the crowd, a blond head._

_"Yuuuuuuuukiiiiii!"_

**End flashback**

"What the hell is wrong with me?"

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Shuichi walked slowly into the NG building. A welcome shout from the secretary was lost in his gloomy cloud of misery, and people walking by gave him a wide berth, frightened from this enormous change of mood.

"Hey, Shuichi! The boss said to tell you that he would like to have a makeup meeting in half and hour…but that was about 20 minutes ago! Where ya been?"

"Whhhhaaaaat?"

Shuichi ran as fast as he could to their usual recording studio, and dropped off his backpack. Then, he jumped into the elevator and arrived at the top floor, gasping for breath.

"Hello Shuichi, you're just on time."

After being seated and offered a drink, and after the formalities were over, Shuichi wiggled awkwardly in his seat waiting for Tohma to tell him what the meeting was about. Tohma was studying him intently, and it was making him very nervous.

"So, Shuichi. I think you've met Yuki, despite your obvious fear of him during our last conversation. He phoned me this morning to tell me all about his encounter with you last night." Shuichi blushed furiously at the memory of his actions.

"Now, I happen to know that your meeting was around the time that I received a phone call from you. I'm not sure if you remember, because you were incredibly intoxicated at the time." Shuichi's blush deepened.

"And I know, that it was because of the amount of alcohol that you consumed, that you ran away screaming from Yuki." Starting to protest, Shuichi saw the look on Tohma's face, and stopped.

"And I also know, that if you two were to meet in a civilized place, say a café, that you would behave like a human being, and politely entertain Yuki until he grows tired of you….and you know, Shuichi, if I wasn't sure that you could behave properly in public, I might not be able to employ you any longer, if you catch my drift…"

Shuichi stared at him in disbelief. Was this guy threatening him to go on a date with his brother-in-law? How could he do that? He wasn't even gay! What if the guy tries something funny with him, like in his dream? Well, if he didn't do it, he would certainly lose his job, so he might as well agree, bear the meeting with Yuki, and then never have to see him again.

"Ohh…ok Seguchi-san! I understand fully! When is this meeting to take place?"

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A few hours later, Shuichi was on his way to Karly's café (A/N ok I know it's not a very Japanese name, but it's really the best I could come up with), dressed in his nice clothes: a pair of black short shorts, a pink tank top, and a neon green zip-up hoodie thrown overtop. A dark pair of sunglasses and a blue baseball cap served as a disguise from overzealous fans.

He hummed to himself, happy to finally get the meeting over and the Yuki business out of his mind, but very nervous to finally met the man that plagued every waking (and sleeping) hour of his.

"Who wears short shorts? We wear short shorts!"

Once inside the café, he looked around for the now familiar blond head, but saw it nowhere.

"Hi, I'd like a table for two please, in the booths if you have any."

"Right this way sir."

"Thank you very much."

Shuichi sat down on the padded chair, sighing to himself. Being late himself, he wondered where Yuki was. A quick glance out the glass wall of the café showed no sign of the man, and Shuichi soon fell into a daydream.

_"Yuki! Yuki! I'm home! Yuki, where are you!" Shuichi ran excitedly from room to room._

_"I'm in the kitchen Shu!"_

_"Yuki!" He bounded up and gave his lover a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek._

_"How was your day!"_

_"Terrible. I only got one chapter done, and it sucks. Plus, I broke my cd and forgot to eat lunch." Yuki scowled down at Shuichi, or at least he tried to. His face formed a half-smile after staring at his boyfriend for a minute._

_"What are you staring at?"_

_"Oh Yuki! You smiled!"_

_"No I didn't."_

_"Yes you did! I saw you! Yuki smiled! Yuki smiled! Yayayaya!"_

_"No I didn't." With that, Yuki pushed Shuichi away from him and walked out of the kitchen. Laying on the floor, Shuichi tried not to cry from the bump on his head where he had fallen into the table, but it was too hard. The added injury of Yuki dumping him on the floor and walking away broke his resolve._

_Tears ran down his cheeks, and his throat clogged up. Why didn't Yuki love him? Why did he have to hurt Shuichi, instead of only admitting that he smiled? He knew that he was annoying sometimes, but how could he get on Yuki's bad side already. _

_Hearing footsteps coming towards the kitchen, he frantically wiped his eyes and nose, and tried to put a bright smile on his face. A hand touched his shoulder, and then his chin, which was lifted up to look at Yuki._

_"Are you ok?" The concern in Yuki's eyes made Shuichi cry even harder._

_"You DO love me!" _

_"Well, I wouldn't go THAT far…" Yuki smiled down at Shuichi. "I didn't mean to hurt you. Here, come with me and we'll fix up your head."_

_"Ya! Yuki loves me!"_

_"Shut up! I have a headache! And don't cling to my arm like that, you'll pull it off!"_

_"Sorry Yuki!"_

_Shuichi took the hand that Yuki offered him and jumped up from the floor. He followed Yuki to the bathroom, grinning from ear to ear._

_Yuki picked up Shuichi easily and hoisted him onto the counter. The cupboards held many emergency medical supplies, since someone (ahem …Shuichi) needed bandages and such almost everyday. Picking out a pink washcloth and some q-tips, Yuki went searching for polysporin._

_"Here, wet this washcloth Shu."_

_"If you're looking for the cleaning stuff, poly-whatdoyacallit, I was using it yesterday. I think I left it in the kitchen."_

_Yuki sighed and walked out, leaving Shuichi to his own devices. He held the washcloth under the tap, and rubbed some soap on it. Pulling back a few pieces of his hair, he tried to rearrange the mirrors so that he could see the back of his head._

_"OW!" His hand ran over the cut on his head._

_"Ah! Idiot! Let me do it!" The washcloth was roughly yanked out of Shuichi's hand and less roughly run over his head. _

_"T-thank you Yuki." He looked at Yuki in the mirror, who was running his fingers through Shuichi's hair. Shuichi reached up and grabbed one of his hands, and brought it down to his cheek._

_"Hey, brat, I can't fix your head if your holding my hand!"_

_"Sigh…I don't care! As long as I can hold you forever."_

_"Aww…brat…let me go."_

_Shuichi reluctantly let his boyfriend's hand slip through his fingers, and was surprised when Yuki flipped him around so they could face each other. He cautiously dabbed the cleaning balm on his head._

_"Ow! Ow! Yuki that hurts!"_

_"No it doesn't brat!" And with a slightly more gentle voice, "Here, don't think about it."_

_Shuichi looked up to see Yuki leaning down to kiss him. He raised his face up to lightly meet his lips, and—_

"Hey! Hello? Wake up kid! Hello!"

A hand slapped the table beside Shuichi's head, and he jumped up to see a scowling face staring down at him.

Shuichi felt a blush creep up his cheeks and he raised his hands to his face to hide it.

"What are you staring at?"

Speechless, Shuichi moved his mouth, but no noise came out. The memory of his daydream seemed to have glued his mouth shut.

"Hey! You could talk enough last night? What's your problem?"

He stared helplessly up at Yuki.

"I'm sorry, I have to go…goodbye."

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hehehe…how much longer will I keep torturing poor Yuki! R&R! and you will find out! Besides I made it extra long just for you!


	8. Double Flashback

Bahahah cliffhangers…how I love them…well I don't have much to say, so I won't waste any more of your time, except to say: the end actually is near! Rejoice! Oh ya…there are gonna be a lot more flashbacks from now on just as a warning.

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Shuichi walked home slowly, staring at his feet. How could he have let Hiro, Suguru and K down? He knew that he shouldn't have let him emotions get the best of him, but he felt that Yuki could read his mind, and he had definitely NOT wanted him to see that. Still, his stomach churned at the memory of Tohma's threat.

Stopping in the middle of the street, his face twisted with the decision he had to make.

"Oh…damn it! I have to find his house!"

He took off running down the street, towards a phone booth. Once inside, he flipped through the phonebook and found Yuki's address.

"Oh good, that's not too far from here! I can make it before he phones Tohma!"

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Shuichi bounded up to the door of Yuki's apartment. He stood outside for a second, still indecisive. Maybe he's not home? Maybe he IS home? But the thought of Hiro and Suguru's sorrow made up his mind. He lifted his fist and knocked on the door.

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Yuki was sitting at his desk, typing away at his laptop, when he heard the light knock on the door.

"Who's there?"

No answer.

"HEL-lo?"

Growling in disgust, Yuki shut down the laptop and walked to the door.

"This better be good you're interrupting my flow of ideas." (Untrue. He had been staring at the blank screen since he got home and was happy for the break.)

A light gasp at the other end of the door only urged on his annoyance, and he continued talking as he unlatched the door.

"If I forget my idea because of yo—"

The sight of Shuichi's unmistakable pink head, looking awkwardly at the ground met his disbelieving eyes.

"Uh-uh-uh I'm very sorry to interrupt but I just wanted to—"

SLAM!

The door flew shut with shut a force that Shuichi flew back a few feet. He stared at the door in horror, not knowing that Yuki was on the other side, doing the same thing.

**Flashback (Yuki)**

_Yuki stood towering over Shuichi, waving his fist in the air. His normally calm hazel eyes flashed with anger, causing Shuichi to cringe away from him._

_"This is the last straw! Get the fuck out of my apartment!"_

_"B-but Yuki, I didn't mean to! I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm so sorry! Yukiiiiiiii!" His scream trailed off as Yuki picked him up and threw him outside the door._

_"You idiot! You erased about three months worth of work on my computer! How am I ever going to meet my deadline!"_

_"Waaaaahhhh! Yuki I didn't mean to I only wanted to play a game I don't know how it got deleted!"_

_"Liar! Get out of my sight now!"_

_Shuichi looked like he was going to protest, but smartly shut his mouth before provoking the author even more. Sadly, he picked himself up off of the ground and wiped a hand across his face._

_"…ok Yuki…I'll go…" The look on his face was crushing, but Yuki couldn't see it through his anger._

_"Good."_

**Flashback (Shuichi)**

_Shuichi watched the floor of the elevator fly by his feet, occasionally struck by one of his tears. He had honestly not meant to delete the file, he hadn't even known that he had done it until Yuki came into the kitchen later and asked him if he had been playing around on the computer. Not clueing in to Yuki's dangerous mood, he had happily declared that it was himself, and found himself in deep trouble._

_His nose was running now too, and he used an already dirty sleeve to wipe it off. How could he have down this to his Yuki? Now his editor would yell at him, and Yuki would be in trouble too. Yuki had been right to kick him out, he was nothing but a nuisance and a failure._

_Luckily, no one else was in the elevator, and Shuichi was free to break down and sob his heart out._

**Flashback (Yuki)**

_Wandering back to his computer room, Yuki fumed silently. What the hell was the problem with that kid. He had spent a lot of time and energy, and had done a lot of research on his latest novel, and now it was all wasted. His scowl deepened, and in an effort to release his anger he kicked the couch._

_"OW! Fuck!"_

_Well, he might as well start with his new novel. Yuki sat down resignedly, entering his account and bringing up the title screen._

_The hazel eyes narrowed slightly as he scanned the screen. Then they suddenly stopped moving. His breath caught in his throat as he reread the information on the screen._

_He cringed inwardly. So Shuichi hadn't erased it after all, Yuki had only forgotten where he saved it. Cursing his own stupidity, he debated going after Shuichi and foregoing his dignity. His conscience eventually won the battle and he ran downstairs after Shuichi._

**Shuichi**

_Tears streamed in rivers down his face as Shuichi slowly sunk against the wall of Yuki's apartment building. His fists pounded on the floor in an attempt to keep in the sobs that were welling up inside. Why was he such a clutz? How could he do this to Yuki? _

_A quiet voice in the back of his head reminded him that although Yuki had said that it was his fault, he hadn't remembered doing anything. Maybe Yuki had erased it himself and needed someone to blame? He would take Shuichi back in a couple of hours, maybe less anyways. But Shuichi brushed these thoughts away, intent on punishing himself properly. _

_He pulled his pocketknife out of his pocket and examined it carefully. Shuichi, being Shuichi, was not a big fan of pain, but he had to make sure that he never did something like this again. Unsheathing the knife, he held it up to his arm._

**Yuki and Shuichi**

_Yuki ran through the doors that led to outside just in time to see Shuichi raising the knife._

_"NO!" Running as fast as he could, he leapt over to Shuichi's side and snatched the knife out of his hand._

_"What the FUCK are you doing? Idiot why are you hurting yourself?" He threw the knife away._

_"Y-Yuki…I'm sorry! I just wanted to make sure I never…never did anything like that again!"_

_Yuki's face softened. "Shuichi, you should NEVER hurt yourself because I'm mad at you! I'm not worth it!"_

_"You are to me!"_

_Tears started to form behind Yuki's eyes, and he roughly wiped them away with his sleeve._

_"Shuichi…I…I'm sorry. I made a huge mistake and prioritized my work over you."_

_Shuichi gaped at Yuki. Who was this stranger who was acting so nice? Had he really scared Yuki that much?_

_"Y-Yuki …but what about your story?"_

_"Uhhh…well, I uh…found it…" He hung his head ashamedly. Shuichi just smiled at him and reached out a small hand to grab Yuki's._

**End Flashback**

Yuki flung open the door to find Shuichi sitting on the floor staring at him, with what he imagined was the identical expression that was on his own face.

"Kid, we really need to talk."

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A/n: hey guys wow that was a lot of long complicated flashbacks! Sorry if there is any confusion whatsoever (and if there is you can always review and tell me! Wink wink )


	9. At The Park

Hey guys long time no see! (well not really but I haven't written a chapter in a while…) I hope you're all well…and alive (although you obviously are)

And also, in this chapter I've decided to introduce on of our not so favourite characters from Gravitation…which I don't own…because this story reaaaaaally needs some antagonists.

Thought I should let you know that I'm attempting to wrap up this story, but I'm still a little fuzzy on how it should end (bad bad me for not planning it out!) so I might be a little slow updating, or even worse, post pointless chapters! So bear with me and I'll work out and ending (you could always send in ideas wink wink)

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Shuichi stared up at Yuki's form in the doorway, not failing to notice the half-suppressed shudder that went through the writer's body. His long delicate fingers clutched the door frame so hard that it probably left marks in the woods. Shuichi didn't think that he had ever seen His long delicate fingers clutched the door frame so hard that it probably left marks in the woods. Shuichi didn't think that he had ever seen Yuki so…uncollected. Wait…he had only seen the guy a few times, where did that come from? Probably the same spot that these crazy day dreams were coming from…

"Hey, are you listening to me? HELLO! Kid!"

"Huh…what?"

"I said, we really need to talk."

"…yeah…"

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Shuichi and Yuki wandered slowly to the park, licking cones of ice cream, content to be silent for the time being. Although neither of them knew where they were going, neither of them were surprised either, when they ended up sitting on the benches right near the spot they first met.

They sat in a comfortable silence for a while, Yuki studying Shuichi, and Shuichi staring at the ground, trying to think of something to say. He fiddled with the ends of his hair, twirling them around his finger, and then slowly working out the knots.

"Ow!" An especially big knot was completely wrapped around his finger, trapping it successfully against his head. "Ow ow ow ow ow!" Struggling with his hair, he only managed to make the knot grow in size.

"Here, let me see." Yuki reached over to his head, but Shuichi leaned away instinctively. "I'm not going to hurt you kid, let me help."

"Uhh…no it's ok…I can—"

Yuki grabbed the back of his head and pulled it towards him. He studied the knot for a few seconds, and then set off to work on untangling it. At first, Shuichi sat stiffly where his shoulder was touching Yuki's, but after a few minutes of soothing fingers running through his hair and working out the knot, he relaxed, and started humming a tune under his breath.

This surprised Yuki at first, but he was happy because Shuichi had relaxed. He loved how the singer's body fit just right into his own, and he felt happy for the first time on a long while. The tune of the song jogged at his memory, and to his surprise, he opened his mouth and sang part of the chorus along with Shuichi's humming.

When Shuichi heard Yuki's deep voice floating over his head, he smiled lightly, but then realized what he was singing. The last piece of hair came free from his finger and Yuki's hand reluctantly left his hair. Shuichi turned around to stare him right in the face.

"How…..how do you know the words to that song?"

"Oh…I guess I heard them on the radio sometime…" But Yuki knew that wasn't true, he never listened to the radio, and the look on the singer's face told him that he had done something he shouldn't have.

"No…" Shuichi said slowly, "That song, I just came up with the lyrics yesterday morning…I wrote them because…" He trailed off, blushing brightly.

"Because…?" Prompted Yuki.

"Because…I was so mad at you…for stalking me…"

Yuki looked at him in shock, and then to both his and Shuichi's surprise, started laughing. "You thought I was stalking you?"

"Well, yeah…you just popped up wherever I went…it was really scary!"

"So, is that why you ran away from me?"

If possible, Shuichi's blush got even deeper. "Umm…sorta."

"But that doesn't matter! How do you know my song lyrics? Like I said, I just wrote them yesterday, and I haven't shown anyone, not even Hiro. I even carry them around with me so that no one will steal them…Look!" He pulled a crumpled sheet out of his pocket.

Yuki carefully studied the sheet, trying not to laugh about the childish lyrics written on the paper. He stopped when he came to the part that he had, in fact, sung.

"Hnn…weird."

Shuichi stared at him helplessly. "WEIRD? Is that all you can say? Ok, maybe the first few times that I saw you, that was weird, and the dream about you, that was weird, and the—" He shook his head, trying to find words for what he wanted to say. "This, all this, you knowing my lyrics, everything. It's just creepy."

"Maybe it's fate." Shuichi gaped at Yuki wordlessly.

"Fate?"

"I read somewhere…that if you meet a stranger three times, then it isn't a coincidence, it's fate (1)"

"I've read that somewhere too…hey…wait a second! YOU wrote that you big liar!"

"You read my books?"

"Yeah…but HEY that's not the point!"

"Then what IS the point?"

"Umm…" Shuichi trailed off into silence, and neither of them talked for a few minutes. They watched little kids running by, playing in the sand, and on the swings. Screams of joy and sadness echoed through the park, and brought parents running.

Shuichi was thinking about the dream that he had about Yuki, almost unconsciously. He remember the feeling of the bed springs beneath his knees, and—

"Hey kid." Shuichi looked up, blushing a dark red, and thanking the gods that Yuki could not read his mind.

"You're pretty cute when you're blushing," Yuki couldn't believe the words that just came out of his mouth, but the next ones shocked him even more. "A penny for your thoughts? That is, unless you don't want me to know…" He leaned over and whispered the last part into Shuichi's ear.

The muscles in Shuichi's body tensed up again, and he started shaking.

"Umm…umm…" He made the mistake of turning to Yuki, putting their faces in close proximity.

"What?" Yuki breathed out, his lips inches from the singer's.

One look in the writer's beautiful amber eyes, and Shuichi was speechless. He was rooted to the spot, unable to move, but he found that even if he could, he wouldn't want to.

He found himself leaning forwards toward Yuki, and even more surprising found himself wanting the kiss so bad it almost hurt. Yuki shut his eyes and closed the distance between them quickly, unable to hold back any longer.

As their lips met, a spark run through Shuichi's body, and along his skin, giving him goose bumps everywhere. Yuki impatiently tried to deepen the kiss, licking along the bottom of Shuichi's lips to have access to his mouth. Shuichi replied without hesitation, opening his mouth and letting his tongue in. A moan escaped from the back of his throat, and Yuki found himself driven crazy with desire. The kiss became more and more passionate, as Yuki grasped the back of Shuichi's neck, playing with the soft pink hairs there. He found his hand slowly traveling up the singer's shirt, and—

"Hey fags! Go suck face some other place! Get a room!"

Shuichi practically jumped twelve feet in the air in his attempt to get away from Yuki. He stared at him in shock, feeling his swollen lips tearfully. He couldn't believe that Yuki had just done that. No, that he had just let Yuki do that. Babbling incoherently, he slowly backed up from the park bench.

Yuki glared at the two guys who had just yelled at them. They seemed to be about the age of college students.

"Hey, Shuichi, come back!" But it was too late, and the singer was long gone. But it wasn't too late to kick some homophobic ass.

He slowly got up and walked over to the two men, who were currently laughing their asses off at him. Well, they wouldn't be laughing for long.

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Shuichi ran through the streets, trying not to cry. What was the matter with him? How could he have done that? It was so strange. He didn't have anything against other people being gay, but he definitely wasn't…

Maybe it was because Yuki was so pretty. If he had long hair, he would look just like a girl.

"Wow, he really is the prettiest boy I've ever seen…" He slapped his head.

"No! I can't think like that!"

His thoughts, which, unbeknownst to him, had been spoken out loud were heard from the dark shadows of an alley, and just as he walked by, a hand reached out and dragged him into the alley.

"Ow! What the—"

"Shut up!"

"Who…who's there?"

Taki stepped out of the shadows and into Shuichi's line of vision. "Hello Shuichi."

"Umm…who are you?" Taki recoiled for a second, fuming at the singer.

"You know who I am, Shuichi…"

"Umm…I really don't think I do…you have the wrong Shuichi dude."

"I don't think so…Shuichi Shindou of Bad Luck, right?"

"….Yes…"

"That's exactly what I thought. Now, Shuichi, There's something we need to discuss.

**Flashback**

_K leveled his magnum with Yuki's head._

_"There's something we need to discuss."_

**End Flashback**

Shuichi turned around and tried to run out of the alley, but he was blocked by large man. He fell to the ground crying.

"I can't go through this again!"

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Hey I hope you enjoyed this chapter…it's kinda all over the place. Thank all reviewers I love you sooo much! Wow this chappie took me a reaaaaaally long time, and now, I can watch Sukisyo! R&R!...please?

(1). I don't think this is exactly how it goes, but there's a part just like this in Demon Diaries where the boy says that to the Demon and I forget their names cuz I read it a while ago.


	10. Hiro To The Rescue!

Welcome readers one and all! I was really depressed today, but I got home and saw all the new reviews waiting for me, and I decided to write a chapter! Sorry to everyone who's complaining about short chapters, but I really don't have the time (or brain capacity) to do one at the moment (SORRY!) Thank you very much SMDSP! I'm terribly sorry for forgetting Eclipse and Raenef (what a cutie!) thanks for reminding me! And all my other wonderful reviewers…You. Are. The. BEST!

Btw I think this has been the most difficult chappie so far so it might suck…sorry about that

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_""I can't go through this again!"_

Shuichi grabbed at his cell phone frantically, and managed to press the speed dial button for Hiro's number, before a burly arm smashed into his hand, knocking the phone to the ground.

Faintly, he heard a click, and then Hiro's voice.

"Moshi moshi?"

"Hiro! Help!"

The connection was cut off as one of the men crunched the phone under his heels, making Shuichi sob in despair.

"HELP!"

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Yuki was busy kicking the asses of the homophobic college students. Hey, if they didn't know any manners, some one had to teach them. He grinned widely, enjoying it almost too much as he sat on one of the kid's back, pressing his face into the mud. The other one was currently sprawled out of the ground, unconscious since Yuki right hooked him in the face. The one he was sitting on ceased to make noises, and he slowly got up. Maybe the kid was faking it? But when Yuki kicked him a few times in the ribs, just to make sure (…uh huh) the boy didn't seem to move.

Spotting the other boy lying their, a devious plan started taking shape in Yuki's mind.

"Heh…heh"

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Hiro ran through the park frantically, looking for a sign of Shuichi. He'd already checked his apartment on the way here, and had decided to scout out the park, where Shuichi seemed to be hanging out at more and more often lately.

A crowd of people up ahead were gathering around something, although Hiro couldn't see. He decided that a group of people staring at something was a good place to start, seeing as Shuichi was great at drawing attention.

Peering over the shoulders of the crowd (made up of mostly mothers and children, seeing at it was the middle of the day) Hiro was disappointed to see that his friend was no where in sight. But what did catch his attention, and made him stay a few seconds longer, was the man who was obviously drawing the attention of the crowd.

He seemed to be playing with dummies…no, they weren't dummies, they were people! Sleeping people, or perhaps unconscious, but whatever they were doing, Hiro was pretty sure they wouldn't be too happy when they woke up. The man had managed to arrange these two boys so that the smaller one was lying on top of the bigger one, facing each other. He had also, from god-knows-where, gotten a rope and tied them together, using their belt loops.

"Heh…heh…see what the homophobes have to say…" And at that point he turned around and saw his audience for the first time. Somehow, he managed to keep a calm and dignified air about him as he pushed past the crowd of staring people and back onto the main path. Looking back, Yuki saw that the people were still staring at him curiously.

"Uhh…don't do drugs…?" For some reason (only known to that particular group of people) this satisfied the crowd, and they went back to doing whatever it was they had been doing. Except Hiro. He was left staring after that man, who, enough he was wearing sunglasses and a hat, seemed familiar.

Nonchalantly walking up behind him, Hiro reached up and hand and knocked off his hat, then promptly sat on the ground.

"OOPS!" To his surprise, the man grabbed at his hair, as if trying to protect it from view, flipping up the collar of his coat to hide his head.

"Damn brat!" He whirled around to Hiro, who was innocently handing him his hat. Yuki grabbed it angrily and started to walk away.

"Yuki? Eiri Yuki?"

The result was exactly what Hiro wanted. Yuki flew over to him and clamped a hand over his mouth, hissing for him to keep it down.

"Do you want the whole park after us?"

Dimly, Hiro wondered why the park would be after him, but since it wasn't really necessary to his purpose, he didn't ask.

"Were you just with Shuichi?" Yuki stared at him. How did this kid know? Had Shuichi told him already?

"Um…yes…" Hiro narrowed his eyes.

"I just got a call from him asking, well, more like screaming, for help…do you know anything about this?"

"Hmm…wasn't about me, he didn't pull his cell phone out the whole time…we were kinda…busy." Yuki smirked at Hiro's embarrassed reaction, a blush crawling across his face. But despite this, the guitarist's words remained relatively calm.

"Ok, if you're sure, but I really need to get to him, he sounded like he was in big trouble."

Yuki felt a rush of adrenaline in his blood, and even though he would never admit it, he was getting worried about this kid. It seemed that in the short time since he had seen him on television, he was taking over Yuki's life. The cute way he talked, the sparkle in his eyes, the sexy way he moved when he sang, and even in the streets…that time he almost burnt down the kitchen…

What! Yuki slapped the side of his head. Where the hell did that come from? The kid hadn't even been inside his apartment. But in his head, he could see pictures in his mind, and he had to sit down quickly on a bench.

**Flashback**

_"Uhh…Yuki?"_

_"What is it brat?"_

_"Umm…could you come into the kitchen for a second?"_

_"No, I'm busy!"_

_"Umm…I **really** think that you're gonna want to come in here…"_

_"Why the hell would I want to do that? **You're **in there!"_

_There a was pause, and Yuki could hear sniffling sounds coming from the kitchen. _

_"Fine, I'll find the fire extinguisher myself then…"_

_Well, that had the desired effect. Yuki sprung up from his chair, knocking over his desktop lamp, and rocketed into the kitchen. Which closely resembled a disaster area. _

_There was food everywhere. Splattering the walls, the floor, the counters, and even somehow, the ceiling. Not to mention the various kitchen utensils scattered all around the room. Oh yeah, and there was an enormous fire raging from the stove._

_"Ow!" Shuichi staggered away from the stove, where he had been throwing buckets of water onto the fire, clutching his hand. To his surprise, Yuki felt a twinge of fear, and hurried worriedly over to the singer. _

_"What's your problem brat?" He asked roughly, covering up his concern._

_Shuichi, misunderstanding, looked up at him with tears in his big violet eyes. "Waaaahhhhh! I'm so sorry Yuki! I didn't mean to start the fire (A/n does anybody?) I was only trying to make you a nice healthy supper for once, instead of you always feeding me! I'm so sorry!" _

_"Calm down! It's not that bad." Although he had been on the verge on kicking Shuichi out of the house, he only withstood a second of his adorable puppy eyes before telling himself that he wouldn't get angry._

_"Really Yuki?"_

_Yuki, who was currently rummaging around in the cupboard above the sink, gave a muffled reply. Then he pulled back out, triumphantly holding the fire extinguisher. When he realized that his lover hadn't heard him, he repeated himself._

_"Yes, it's fine. Don't think about it any more."_

_"So you're not mad at me?"_

_"No! I'm not mad at you! Stop asking or I will be!" The fire was finally out, and he threw the empty metal canister away._

_Despite his angry tone, Shuichi caught the fleeting smile on his face, and he grinned too. Yuki started to walk back to the living room, to pick up the shards of the lamp._

_"Yuki is turning into a great big softie!"_

_Shocked that his lover would say such bold words, he spun around, just about to say something scathing to change his mind, when Shuichi gave him a coy look. Well, he knew what that meant. A grin started to appear on his face, regardless of his attempts to kill it. Slowly, the singer walked over, stood on his tiptoes, and lightly brushed his lips up against Yuki's. Then he sat back down on the heels of his toes and stared up at the writer, daring him to continue what he had started. Willingly, Yuki agreed._

_The first chaste kiss, became more and more passionate, as the two men got more and more aroused. Yuki nibbled needily on Shuichi's lower lip, but the singer teasingly kept his mouth closed, running his hands through Yuki's hair and down his back. Of course, Yuki couldn't have this, and he immediately moved in closer, pushing Shuichi up against the blackened counter, and grinding their hips together. _

_A moan escaped from Shuichi's mouth, and Yuki quickly slipped his tongue inside, victoriously exploring the familiarness of his lover's mouth. He grinned into the kiss, happy to be where he was._

_Shuichi's eager hands fumbled with the buttons on his shirt, and he gladly help him rip it off, revealing his firm, nicely muscled chest. For a moment, the singer held his cheek up to the skin on his chest, listening to Yuki's heart beat, but he couldn't stand to wait any longer, and slowly turned his head to the side, teasing the skin around his lover's nipple with his tongue. _

_Yuki watched as he got closer and closer to his sensitive skin, running his hands through Shuichi's hair. Closer, and closer…and—_

**End Flashback**

Yuki was brought back to reality by a red headed menace pummeling his shoulder.

"Um hello? We have to go rescue Shuichi! What the hell are you doing daydreaming here?" He looked down at Yuki's lap.

"Umm…do you want to wait here for a while," He smirked up at him, "Maybe calm down a little?"

Yuki followed Hiro's eyes, and then glanced up at him, blushing wildly.

"Ya…I'll do that."

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Shuichi had struggled with his capturers, and almost managed to get away, but unfortunately one of the men had sat on him, (the guy must have been 300 pounds!) and he was out of commission (and breath). So he sat there and listened to Taki complain about how his band sucked, and Taki's ruled, and some people (Tohma) obviously couldn't appreciate it, and Shuichi and his band had seduced the boss of NG and on and on about how it wasn't fair. By now, Shuichi's eyes were drooping shut, and he tuned out the droning sound of the angry rival lead singer.

This probably wasn't a smart thing to do. Next thing he knew, the singer found himself shoved up against the brick wall of the alley.

"Well, if you aren't going to listen, we might as well move on to the next stage…"

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A/N : uhoh…Shuichi's in big trouble here! How am I going to write myself out of this corner? Don't worry though. I'm not going to write a rap scene or anything…I don't think I could./..(notice how the flashback ended prematurely? Ya…that wasn't an element of the story – although it could be – I'm just kinda shy…but hopefully I'll have a lemon for you at the end!)

Adios all! R&R si vous plait!


	11. Yuki To The Rescue!

Author's Note: Hey guys! You're baaaaaaaaack. Wow that's always good…so I reread this story, and it doesn't really seem to be getting anywhere…at all…I was hoping that it would be over by now at least, but not even close…hnnn…..blahhh….it's going so slow, cuz I can only write on Tuesdays, when no one's home….otherwise I get weird looks and questions from my parents…I wish I could see the look on their faces...if only they knew….

Just so you know, I have absolutely no control over this story anymore. It woke me up last night with a knife to my throat and threatened to kill me if I didn't update it, and let it go wherever it wanted. So it will never end (just joking)…(but don't tell it I said that)

Anyways thanks for all the reviews people, they're so nice! I save them in my inbox and read them when I need to write a new story (ok, I know I'm a loser…)

And so, the story continues…

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"_Well, if you aren't going to listen, we might as well move on to the next stage…" _

Yuki and Hiro were finally on the move again after Yuki's…"episode". They had gone back to the park bench where the two had been sitting, and from there, started tracking Shuichi's path. They can to the edge of the park, where the path met the sidewalk, and considered the options.

"Hmm…ok, I'll go right, you go left." Yuki, who had already started down the sidewalk to the left looked over at Hiro just in time to see the sarcastic smile slip off his face. But he let it slide, he had better things to do…

As he walked down the sidewalk, he contemplated the events of the past week. Never had he felt so many emotions in such a short period of time, or, in any time in general. It was like what had started with seeing that boy on TV had escalated into a full scale flood from his heart. It was like, he thought, chuckling to himself, like the boy who stuck his finger in the dyke.

With these complicated thought rolling around in his head, he almost missed the scuffle going on inside of an alley he passed. He had already walked by, when he heard a muffled scream coming from that direction. Immediately, he back-pedaled and glanced in the alley.

What he saw brought on a new onslaught of feelings. As he saw a tall dark haired man pressing Shuichi up against the wall, running his hands down the boy's thighs, the first thing he felt was anger. That little slut! But then he realized that Shuichi was obviously not enjoying what was happening, and was struggling to get free. Then he was incredibly angry.

Memories of what happened with Yuki Kitazawa flashed by his eyes in quick succession, and he could feel his brain shutting down as his adrenaline took over. He stepped directly into the narrow alley, making his presence known.

"Ahem."

Taki looked up from where he was currently playing with Shuichi's belt. His face went from fearful to smug in three seconds as he realized that although Yuki was a big guy, he still had two enormous guys that could beat him up. Or so he thought…

He was proved _quite_ wrong, when Yuki quickly and efficiently took out both of the men in less than two minutes, leaving one of them moaning on the ground, and the other running out of the alley for his life.

"I suggest you let him go." Yuki used his coldest voice to address the would-be rapist.

Taki scowled over at him, and looked for a moment like he might not listen, but seeing Yuki crack his knuckles maliciously, he shoved Shuichi into the direction of Yuki, and ran off.

The singer stumbled across the ground, and ended up in Yuki's warm arms.

"Hey…hey," Shuichi looked up at him, "Are you okay? Did he do anything to you?" Tears leaked out of his eyes silently, and fell onto Shuichi's cheeks, mingling with the smaller boy's tears. He managed a small nod.

Yuki sighed in relief. Thank god he had gotten there in time…who knows what could have…Just the thought made him sink to the ground, leaning up against the wall, and still holding the boy tightly in his arms. If Taki had had his way…it would have been his fault. His fault again that someone got hurt…his fault.

A tearing sob escaped from his throat, followed by a tight gasp. After not crying in six years, it came as quite a surprise, actually feeling something. He tried to hold in the sobs as best he could.

A small movement around his waist alerted him to Shuichi's presence again. The slight boy looked up at the writer with a worried expression on his face.

"Don't try to stop it, it'll feel good." He grinned sardonically. "I must do it ten times a day!"

A laugh flew out of Yuki's mouth before he could stop it, and then he completely broke down, and cried in Shuichi's arms.

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Hiro had been needlessly wandering the streets for hours, when he finally started walking back to the park. There was no way that he was going to find the singer now, and maybe Yuki had already found him. And so, he went home.

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Yuki hesitantly opened his eyes, and looked around at his surroundings. Where the hell was he? A small movement in his lap alerted his to the small singer sleeping against him, and he realized that they were still in the alley. He must have fallen asleep!

Softly shaking the sleeping boy off of him, he stood up shakily and stretched. How long had they been here? Taking a glance at his watch, he swore under his breath.

"Hey." At first, it was quiet.

"HEY! Kid, wake up!" No response.

"Damn." Yuki kicked Shuichi lightly in the side.

"Uh…just a bit…longer…"

"Ok kid. Get. Up. Now, or I'm leaving you here. Today!"

Shuichi slowly got to his feet, wiping the sleep out of his eyes, and studying the alley. Surprise was evident on his face.

"Are you okay?"

"Um, where are –"

"Are you okay?"

Shuichi glared at Yuki. "Yes, I am okay! Where—"

"Good. Bye."

The singer's mouth opened wordlessly, and then shut again. A stubborn look set across his face.

"Bye."

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(A few days later)

Shuichi quietly walked up to the door of Yuki's apartment, dressed like a burglar in all black (he even had a little black toque).

Looking around his to confirm solidarity, he then pulled a white envelope out of his pocket, and taped it gently to the door. Inside was a ticket to his upcoming concert, and backstage passes, which were meant as a thank-you gift for rescuing him. Also, he hoped that Yuki would forgive him for whatever he had done that made him act so cold in the alley.

Satisfied that the tickets were not going to fall off, he cautiously made his way back to the lift.

Unknown to him, a curious eye had been watching him through the peek hole. As he got on the lift, a little old lady slowly crept out of her room and walked over to Yuki's door. Upon examining the envelope, she stuck her hand in and withdrew the contents.

A sharp intake of breath broke the silence of the hallway, as she saw that she was, in fact, holding tickets and a backstage pass to the sold-out concert of her gods. Obviously this Yuki didn't know, or that pink guy wouldn't have been sneaky, so he wouldn't know if she took them…

She threw a note, stuck to the back of the ticket, that had been hastily scribbled on a piece of pink paper into the trash can

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Author's note: Grr! That mean old lady…hehe maybe she'll make an appearance at the concert…sorry about the shortness, it's not that I don't love you, it's just…I'm incredibly lazy! (and my mom just walked in the door)

Ta ta for now!


	12. A Much Needed Sign

Hey everyone I have good news! Since my computer has been moved out of my kitchen, I no longer get nagging questions about what I'm doing! I'm free! Free to write whatever I want…well not really, my parents still use this computer, but you know what I mean…

So hopefully I'll have a longer chapter for you today, the last one was a crappy filler...

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Yuki paced back and forth in his apartment. What the hell had he been thinking? The kid was obviously thrilled with being saved, so why had he been so cold towards him? About to scream in frustration, Yuki grabbed his head and flopped down on the couch. Why him? Why did he have to be one to give Yuki that feeling in his stomach, the same one that he used to get around—

No! This wasn't anything like what had happened then. He would never do that to the kid…Why was he bringing up these ridiculous memories anyways? It wasn't as if Shuichi was anything like…him…but no! That was it! The singer reminded Yuki of himself…

Ok, he wasn't going to think about it anymore…as of this moment he was going to walk into the kitchen, grab a beer, and go work on his novel.

Unfortunately, as easy as that sounded. It was a lot harder to do. All that he ended up doing was staring off into the space, sipping his beer, and wondering what Shuichi was doing at that moment. This, needless to say, did not improve his mood one bit.

It had seemed like the boy liked him…hadn't it? He had that look in his eyes, the one that Yuki was only accustomed to seeing with women, but still it was a little different than theirs. It was like the lusty looks he always got from women, along with admiration, but it wasn't quite the same. This boy obviously had no reason to worship him, he was famous himself, and Yuki was sure that he had never read the author's books, and it wasn't as though he was jealous of his looks, the singer surely had girls throwing themselves at him. He was very cute…but that wasn't the point. Whatever this was, this strange look, it was similar…but not the same…so what the hell was it?

Bah! The frustrated author jumped out of his seat and went over to the couch. Maybe watching TV would take his minds of things…

Wrong! The second he turned it on, Shuichi's music video blared out of the speakers. Yuki wanted to turn it off, but he couldn't. His hand was frozen on the remote, and he couldn't peel his eyes of the sexy singer on the scream. As the camera trailed down Shuichi's body, lingering over his tight leather pants, Yuki felt his breath catch. Abruptly he tore his eyes away from the boy and threw the remote directly at the television.

Smack!

Luckily, the remote hit the wall, shattering into a million pieces, and Yuki felt a little better. That was, until the phone rang.

"Hmm?"

"Must you answer the phone like that Yuki, it's very impolite."

"Tohma."

"Yes, um…Yuki, I have something to tell you…" Yuki almost dropped the phone. He had never, in his life heard Tohma utter an uncertain word like "um" in his life. What was so important that the self-confident man had stumbled like that?

"Do I want to know?"

"…Yes, I think you do…"

"Alright then, what is it?"

"You know, how you asked me to set up a meeting with Shuichi?"

"…Yes, what about it?"

"Well, I…he didn't want to go…i…I ashamed to tell you, but I threatened him to make him go."

"What! Why are you telling me this now? Why would you do that?"

"I only wanted you to be happy! I was trying to protect you, but apparently that's too much to do for you!"

"Tohma! I didn't want you to threaten the poor kid to go out with me! I wouldn't want him to do something like that against his will! No wonder—"

"No wonder what?"

But all Tohma got as an answer was the dial tone at the other end of the phone.

Yuki tore around the house, kicking whatever was on the floor. What the hell? He was just like Kitazawa, forcing this kid into going out with him…no wonder the kid was looking at him strangely…he probably was waiting for Yuki to jump his bones right there in the alley.

"Fuck…" How much more messed up could his life get…he had somehow managed to corrupt another person…he shouldn't even be alive…

Suddenly, he felt better, after thinking that.

"I shouldn't be alive." Out loud, it sounded even better. Yuki started laughing; he had found the solution to all his problems…The author headed towards the bathroom.

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"Shuichi! Hurry up, you're on in like three minutes!"

"Ok Sakano, I'm coming, just give me a second!" Shuichi couldn't believe how normal his voice sounded, considering all the random thoughts and emotions whirling around in his head.

He took a deep breath, and had one last look in the mirror. The image staring back at him was barely recognizable, with the eyeliner and other makeup on his face, he looked different…sexy even…

The face suddenly smiled at him, and he skipped out of the room.

As Shuichi wound his way backstage, through the wires and people in the halls, he thought about the song he had written. Although he had lost his copy of it in the park that night, he had been able to recall it from his memory, and write it down. It reminded him of Yuki, for some unknown reason. He could feel his face stretch under the makeup as he frowned. That man, was so arrogant…there had been no reason to treat Shuichi as he had…but still, that kiss that they had shared…there was a spark between them, and Shuichi wanted to feel that spark again. A smile ghosted his face…maybe Yuki would feel different in a few moments.

He stepped onto the stage, and felt the warm stage light on his face. A grin spread across his face; he was in his favourite place in the world, in front of a screaming audience, music booming, every thing was absolutely perfect….well, almost everything.

After walked out to the middle of the stage and grabbing his mike, he quickly scanned the front seats for Yuki, but he didn't see him.

But of course the show must go on, even if the handsome writer wasn't there. Ignoring the sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach, he excitedly introduced his song to the audience…maybe Yuki was sick? And watching at home?...Sure. That could be it. Shuichi put a smile on his face, and made his final announcement before the song started.

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Yuki sat on the edge of the bathtub, staring intently at the razor in his hand. Was this really necessary? Did he really want to do this? But then the nagging voice at the back of his head reminded him of all the people he had hurt: Mika, Tatsuha, his father and mother, Tohma, Shuichi…Kitazawa. It couldn't go on. He had to do something to end their pain…and his.

But was this going too far? Couldn't he just make it up to everyone? Would this hurt them even more? Yuki threw down the razor in disgust. What could he do? It seemed whatever he said, or thought, or did was bound to hurt someone…he needed a sign, something to tell him what to do.

A fuzzy noise caught his attention, and forgetting his predicament for just a second, he wandered into the living room to investigate. His TV was still on from when he had turned it on earlier that afternoon, and it was showing a concert. Wait…not just any concert, it was that kid's concert.

Yuki slowly sat down on the couch as turned up the volume just as Shuichi was making his big announcement.

"Hey guys! Thanks for coming to my concert! You're all so great, I love you all!" He paused and waited for the screams to subside.

"I just wanted to say, that this song we're about to play, well, I wrote it for someone…" He stopped for a second, trying to find the right words, "Someone I met a little while ago, and even though I've only seen them a few times since then, I feel like, I uhh…I've known them my entire life. And even though they didn't come today, I had hoped they would, I would like to dedicate this song to them…so Yuki, this is for you."

The crowd erupted into buzzing and screaming. Who was this Yuki? Whispers flew through the crowd as rumors grew by the moment. Shuichi smiled shyly out at everyone, and turned to the camera. He winked confidently, and then signaled to Hiro to begin the song.

Meanwhile, Yuki was frozen on his couch, staring at the television. Well, apparently God had sent down his sign. He smiled for what felt like the first time in forever, then grabbed his coat and ran out the door. He had a concert to get to!

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Author's note: Oh my god I'm sooo sorry everyone for taking so long! I'm such a bad person…(slaps hand) bad bad! Bad me! Blah my excuse: I left my chapter outline at school and kept forgetting it, and i didn't want to write another pointless chapter without it, so I just stalled….i'm very sorry but to make up this one is page longer than usual…I think…anyways R&R, you know the routine…Ya by the way, I'm having crazy trouble with the stupid formatting...so sorry about that too...


	13. The Concert

Author's note: Hey guys! Sorry, it's been a while, I've tried not to leave this story, but I have a short attention span… anyways I lost most of my notes, and I don't know where they went off to, grr…

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Yuki pushed through the rowdy crowd of people outside of the concert. He needed to get tickets quickly so that he could be inside to hear Shuichi sing. From outside, he could already hear the bass in the background, making the ground vibrate.

Finally he managed to find a man selling tickets, and then he was in. As he watched the pink haired man on the stage bounce around, singing his heart out into the mike, a strange feeling welled up in his stomach.

The writer sat down at his seat, and gazed up at the singing prodigy before him, trying to calm the excited butterflies in his stomach.

The song ended, and the entire audience screamed as loud as they could. Even Yuki managed some applause.

"Thanks guys! You're all so great, so I have a new song for you to end this great night!" Everyone screamed again, but soon the entire place was quiet, as the first notes came out of the speakers.

Shuichi opened his mouth, and began singing, and Yuki was sure that he had never heard anything quite as beautiful. He sounded like an angel, and the writer could feel shivers running up his spine. But there was something familiar about the song…something about the words…

Yuki fingered a piece of paper in his pocket, weathered from constant handling. He now brought it everywhere with him, ever since that kid, who he now knew what Shuichi had dropped it in the park. On the back were written ideas for his book, and he was always cramming new ones in the space left. Now, as he drew it out of his pocket, he flipped it over and examined the other side.

A spinning feeling rocketed through his skull as he read the words, exactly in time with what Shuichi was singing at the moment, and he knew what he had to do.

Slowly, Yuki got up from his seat and made his way towards the stage. He ignored the pushing screaming fans, and used his body to shove through the crowds. As he came closer to Shuichi, the fans became thicker and thicker, and it was harder to get there. But at the same time, the bouncers were busy with other people, which would be key in his plan.

The last notes of the song escaped from Shuichi's mouth, and Yuki felt his resolve grow harder. He had to carry through. Making sure that no one was in the way, he backed up a little ways, and then rushed forward at top speed. Just before he hit the wall of the platform, he launched himself into the air, and vaulted himself up onto the stage.

THUMP!

Some of the people in the crowd gasped, but mostly they sat there in stunned silence, wondering who this random person was. Immediately, the security started running over, but they had to go around to the stairs first.

Shuichi looked over at what was causing the commotion. When he saw the panting writer walking towards him, an elated feeling spun through his blood.

When the two stood face to face, the singer looked shyly at the ground.

"…you came…" Yuki smiled.

"…yeah…"

"Did you get the tickets I left you?"

"…what? No! I didn't get them!"

"I taped them on your door!"

"Damn! Someone must have stolen them!"

"…come to think of it, I think I saw one of my old neighbours in the audience somewhere…"

"So you didn't get the note…"

"No, what did it say."

"…"

"Please tell me." Yuki was surprised at how gentle his voice was.

"…it said: I've only known you for…a little while…but I feel like…I can't live without you. It's ok if you don't feel the same way, I think I can bear it. But if you do, please come to my concert, and listen to me sing…"

Both knew that there was no more need for words, so Yuki dipped his head down to meet Shuichi's lips. As he touched them, he felt adrenaline rush through his veins, making him dizzy, but happy.

Shuichi eagerly met the kiss, savouring the flavour of the blond man's lips, and passionately pressing into him. And as he kissed him, he remembered…he remembered everything.

FLASH!

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_Once again, Shuichi found himself in a completely white environment, floating incomprehensively._

_"I remember! I remember! Let me go back, please Logan let me go back!"_

_"Shuichi…" Logan shook his head unhappily. "How could you do that? I gave you your life back. I told you the consequences of that decision, and STILL you didn't listen…"_

_"I don't care! I want to go back right now!"_

_"You can't go back! That world doesn't even exist anymore. Only you made it real, with your decision to make things right. But it didn't work, and now you are back to being suspended in the air, seconds away from death."_

_"That's not fair! I followed the deal! I didn't talk to Yuki in the park, that's what you wanted, isn't it"_

_"You didn't finish it off! You kept links to this man, and it brought about your demise!"_

_"I didn't keep links! I didn't even know who the hell he was because I couldn't remember! How the hell was I supposed to stay away from him if I couldn't remember that I had to?"_

_Logan glared at him for a moment, and then his face softened._

_"I have to admit, you did try to keep away from him in the beginning. Well, I can give you one more chance then, but if you mess it up, I can't intervene anymore. Just remember, if this happens again: you. Are. Dead. And there is nothing I can do about it._

_"I'm sending you back to that same place, at the park."_

_"…thank you Logan." There was no answer, only another bright flash."_

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Shuichi stumbled to a halt, and sat down on the ground hard. "What should I do?" His brain raced, considering the choices. "Why do I have to do this again, why do I deserve to go through this again? Why me? Why couldn't we just be happy like everyone else?"

"I don't know what to do? Either way, how can I live with myself? How did I ever live without Yuki? I'm so unfaithful!

"I'm sorry Yuki! I'm sorry I forgot you!" Shuichi took a few deep breaths, and tried to think clearly, but he was still feeling shaky. "I either die with my love, or I am never loved…"

The singer stumbled over to a nearby park bench. He felt himself beginning to break down inside, and he knew that he couldn't last much longer without crying. His bag pressed into his bag, so he took it off and set it in his lap. Searching in his pocket, he found the half-finished lyrics that had started this all.

A laugh escaped his mouth as he read them over. They really were horrible…no wonder Yuki insulted him…

A sneeze shook his body, and he stood up to attention. The wind blew by, and in a split second decision, Shuichi ran to the middle of the walk. And dropped the paper.

In the distance, a shadowed figure slowly bent down and picked them up.

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Author's note: Yes! Finally, he made a decision…took him long enough… now this is the official end of the story, but I think I might still do an epilogue…


	14. Chapter 14

**Hey guys! Thanks you all soooo much for reading my story! I don't think I'll have an epilogue, because then I'd have to choose between a happy and sad ending (sad would make me sad, and happy might ruin the whole point of the story…) so I just needed to tell you guys, and thanks to all my reviewers! I love you guys!**

**Thank you so much!**

I love athrun

Asato-Chan

Eiri'sLover

7Person7

saiyukigirl227

DarkRemembrence

GWL

DogDemonLover1590

goodthingI'mimmortal

WhiteDragonWolf Ryu

Pai EmberWolf

Angelique Starlight

PANIC PANIC

Renn

jai-mOoney

ali

wolfie

Gordita

Shuuichi Shindou-Uesugi

White Topaz

Chika of the high Mts

Sutzina Zion

SMDSP

at least i know im a sinner

wendyghost

SakuraKino

wolfie

HeavensNightingale

SuperNeko

lemur130

Misty

Kitty in the Box

animefreaktyan!


	15. Everything's Gonnna Be Alright, I Think

**Author's Note:** So, yes, I know that I decided to leave the story as it was, but I got enough reviews asking for a more...um, fullfilling ending, so here it is! I hope you guys enjoy it! (and thank you SaphirePhoenix )

**Warnings: **none, um, oh, if it's confusing, you may wanna skim read chapter one again, but I think that you should be okay!

**Disclaimer: **Don't own it

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**Epilogue**: **Everything's Going To Be Alright...I Think**

Shuichi pushed the food around his plate, squirming uneasily in his chair. Glancing at the wall, he caught Eiri rolling his eyes exasperatedly from across the table. The writer sighed, and then turned back to his plate.

The telephone rang shrilly, and Shuichi leapt from his chair, looking around wildly and in the process spilling his milk all over himself and Eiri.

"Oh..." his cheeks flushed, "I'm so sorry!" Eiri struggled hard to keep a scowl off his face as he walked stiffly to the sink and began wiping the milk off his pants. Giving Shuichi a little bit of time to calm himself down, he turned his back to the singer and answered his cell phone.

"Hello? What? No, I haven't seen them anywhere...wait; let me ask Shuichi..."

The singer was currently sitting at the table, head propped up in his hands, staring at the wall with the strangest expression on his face. Not aware yet that Eiri was looking at him with mild curiosity, he sighed sadly, his gaze traveling across the room blankly.

"Ahem," Eiri was tired of waiting for him to snap out of that weird funk; it was getting ridiculous. Finally, Shuichi looked his way slowly. Rolling his eyes, Eiri covered the mouth of the phone, "What's with you?"

The singer ignored the question and gestured towards the phone. "Who's that?"

Glaring at Shuichi, the writer vowed that he'd do some more searching later when they had time. It was so unusual for the hyperactive boy to be so...well, emotionless was probably the best word. Eiri smiled in his head; when he suggested an outing that night Shuichi would cheer up right away. "It's Tohma. He wants to know if you've seen Ryuichi. He can't find him, and it's time for...uh...his bath or something."

Shuichi shook his head, "I saw him at NG, but I haven't seen him since I left."

Turning back to the phone, the news was relayed to Tohma. Eiri talked for a minute, and then looked back to the singer. "He wants to know if you've seen K either. Apparently he left NG in some big huff about something, and Tohma thinks that he's after Ryuichi for running away."

Again, Shuichi shook his head, then turned his attention back to the wall.

Eiri sighed, explained the situation to Tohma, and then hung up the phone. "Shuichi—"

"I'm going to check the mail," Shuichi absently interrupted the writer, "I'll be right back..." He pushed himself to his feet wearily, and trekked out of the apartment, still looking slightly out of it. Eiri rolled his eyes for the umpteenth time. Clearly, something was bothering him, but it wasn't like Shuichi to not complain about every single little problem in his life. Well, as soon as he got back...

Meanwhile, Shuichi was wandering down the hallway, fidgeting nervously. When a door banged open and startled him, causing him to break into a 5m sprint, he snorted at himself disgustedly. What was with him today? Ever since this morning, when he hadn't turned in the new lyrics of the song, he'd had such a strange feeling that something bad was going to happen. It was really the strangest thing. It's not like there was a reason for the feeling; he just felt really nervous, and it had gotten worse throughout the day, and even more as he had come home for lunch.

He found himself back outside the door of Eiri's apartment, and then realized that it was time for work again. The feeling of dread increased. Great, he thought to himself, letting him in the door quietly and gathering his stuff. Not giving the author any time to argue, he turned and raced back out the door. "Bye-Eiri-see-you-later!"

"Shuichi, wai—" But he was already gone. The writer growled, irritated, but decided to look at it as a blessing. Now he could spend some extra time on his newest book without interruption.

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The singer spent the day out around the city, just walking around and looking at things. He realized that after living in the city all his life, he'd never just stopped to inspect the sidewalk cracks, and for some reason this really bothered him.

So he spent the entire day exploring the city, examining the little things that made it so great. By the time he got back to the apartment, he was considerably more at peace, although as he stepped in the door his stomach twinged uneasily.

When he was waiting in front of the elevator, someone walked up and stood beside him, and got on to the lift as well. "What flo—" Shuichi broke off his speech as he saw who he was talking too.

A very familiar looking boy smiled back at him and leaned over, hitting the button himself, as Shuichi was frozen in the spot. Who _was_ that boy? Where did he know him from...?

The boy leaned back against the hand railing, closing his eyes for a moment contently, looking very relaxed. "I just wanted to let you know," he began conversationally, "That I've thought it over, and you really have proved your love." Although Shuichi had no idea what he was talking about, he started to get the feeling that on some level, it made sense. The boy continued, "So just...don't worry. Everything's going to be alright."

For some reason, the singer felt like he should say something, so he began fumbling with words, but just then the elevator shook to a stop, and the doors opened, letting the boy out. He turned and winked at Shuichi, then the doors closed and he disappeared from sight.

Standing by himself in the elevator, the singer mysteriously found a weight lifting off his shoulder; he was starting to feel like himself again! By the time he got to the right floor, he was practically dancing around on his toes, grinning widely.

"Yuki! I'm home!" The door opened onto a quiet apartment. When there was no answer to his call, Shuichi began to get that panicky feeling again. "Yuki?...Yuki?" There was still no answer, so he threw down his coat, and ran around to the kitchen; still nobody in sight. "Oh my god, Yuki, are you okay?" This last part was screamed at the top of his lungs, practically deafening him as he skidded around the corner and ripped open the door of the office, only to see Eiri snickering slightly to himself. That bastard...

But he was so happy to see that bastard... "Oh, hi Yuki. How was your day?"

The writer pretended to turn back to his work for a second to contemplate the question. In truth he hadn't been able to concentrate, not that he'd ever admit that he was that worried about Shuichi, but now that the singer looked normal, so he could proceed with regular teasing procedures.

"Not quite so good brat." Shuichi pouted at the usual nickname, but the writer could tell that it didn't really bother him, "I didn't get any work on my book done, and now that you're home..." There was no way to keep the grin off his face after the outraged look shot at him.

Shuichi realized that he was being teased, and decided that he could do a little teasing of his own. Lurking around the back of Eiri's chair, he tipped his mouth towards the author's ear, "Do you need some cheering up Yuki?"

Eiri grabbed his arm and pulled him over onto his lap, half laughing. "You read my mind brat."

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K slyly walked up to the power box situated on the side of the apartment building, checking both ways to see if anyone was watching. With the same intense stealthiness, he slowly reached into his bag and grabbed what suspiciously looked like a bomb, stuffing it into box messily.

Glancing around one last time, he lurked off to the front of the apartment building, checking his guns to make sure that they were fully loaded. After all, empty barrels weren't going to separate _those_ two...

Unbeknownst to him, as soon as he slipped inside the doors of the apartment building, the boy stepped out from behind some fencing, and walked over to the power box. Shaking his head, possibly at the ridiculousness of K, or maybe his idea of separating the two lovers, or perhaps even because of what he was going to do himself, regardless, the boy flipped open the door, grabbed the bomb shaped package, and threw it casually into a nearby dumpster. Then, with a sigh, he disappeared again.

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Ryuichi and Hiro jumped out of the elevator, nerves on edge from waiting for a such a long time for the old beast to get to such a high floor. Racing down the hallway, they noted that there was already a trail of debris littering the floor, and to their horror, the apartment door was already flung open.

With a gulp, they exchanged a worried look, and picked up their speed right into Shuichi and Eiri's living room.

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Crash!

"Ah, let go of me!"

"No!"

Shuichi leapt off of Eiri's lap as all at once, sounds of fighting began drifting in from their living room. He sprinted out the door, closely followed by a worried Eiri. As they ran into the room, a strange sight greeted their eyes.

K was pinning Hiro to the floor with one hand, hair flying everywhere as he attempted to restrain the guitarist, and just as the two entered the room, Ryuichi flung himself from the top of the couch onto K's back, followed by an angry looking Kumagoro, crushing the insane man and Hiro in an disorganized pile.

"Uh..." Shuichi's voice brought everyone back to reality. The members of the pile picked themselves up sheepishly, trying to desperately grasp at whatever scrap of dignity they had left. Everyone tried to hide behind each other as Eiri's cold voice floated up into the room. "_Who_ is responsible for this mess?"

Ryuichi and Hiro looked at K, who looked at Kumagoro. Fortunately for the bunny, the writer wasn't buying it. With a sigh, K stepped forward. "I have decided..." he began, "That your relationship—"

"—Get out of my house _right_ now. This is it. You cannot come here anymore, and if I see you anywhere near here again, I will personally take one of your guns, and shove it up your—"

"—Eiri!" Shuichi blushed, and then turned to K, who was looking quite disgruntled.

"You can't talk to me like that!" The still-not-quite-subdued man started to say, "I have a gun! And the one with the gun has the...what?" In an attempt to make his point, he'd tried to fire off a couple of rounds into the ceiling, but nothing had happened. "How...?"

Turning, he saw Ryuichi standing on the couch again, holding what looked like a handful of bullets in his hand. "Are you looking for these?" K gave a roar, and lunged at the brown-haired singer, who shrieked loudly, jumped down and ran out the door, running full-out head-on into none other than Tohma Seguchi.

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Much later, a slightly cowed K was escorted out of the apartment by Tohma, who also had Ryuichi clinging to one arm, unaware that he was headed straight home for his bath. Hiro lagged behind to explain a bit of the situation to Shuichi, but really, there wasn't much that they knew...except that K was crazy.

Just as Hiro was walking out the door, he remembered something, and turned back to tell Shuichi. "It's really strange, when he was leaving with Tohma, he kept mumbling something about, 'but what happened to my bomb?', so, uh, you might want to do a check of your apartment or something." He smiled, "Have a good night."

Shuichi and Eiri exchanged worried glances. "So," ventured Shuichi, "Do you still feel like going out for supper?"

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**Author's Note:** Okay, the end! The ACTUAL end, if you're wondering (unless I do a sequel) anyways, if you have the time, my other story right now, What If I'd Tried To Save You, is up and running, and it has simliar themes - it's the samequel ) so if you wanna check that out...

Bye guys, thanks for all the support throughout this story, it was great!


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